Depends on the friend. There are friends where their main purpose is to have fun with them. There are friends where the main point of the relationship is having each other's back. I almost find mixing the two is over rated.
I have friends where I have no intention of asking anything from them and I kind of expect the same from them. I have other friends where we hardly see each other anymore, but either of us can call on the other for anything, and in fact the last four out of five times we've seen each other was for related shit.
The older I get the more I come to the similar conclusions.
I have a fairly large circle of folks I enjoy conversing and socilaizing with, but couldn't picture myself asking them for anything, and would be somewhere between surprised and annoyed if they asked me for more than some mild off hand favor.
A have a much smaller circle of folks where we really don't socialize that much. Maybe we once did and went our different ways, or maybe we never did but had some professional or formal relationship, but we've been there for each other in the past, I can go to them when I need a hand, and I'm happy to help them when they need it.
Then there's just a very few people, for me I mean like two or three, where maybe we don't even so much as talk for very long periods of time, but when we do chat or get together we pick up just like best of chums and have a great time. I wouldn't bother them for casual favors or routine problems, but when stuff gets real they're the ones I turn to, and I'd take a bullet for them.
Not that I would get too hung up on connotations and tell folks that I just casually hang out with, "Nah, we're not really friends," I mean we are. But the latter group are real your friends.
(post is archived)