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850

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[–] 5 pts

The old joke is, a life support system for a cunt.

[–] 3 pts (edited )

The useless bit of skin around a vagina.

Edit: don’t tell my wife I said that

[–] 1 pt

I always heard it told as:

Little Johnny overheard his older brother talking about "pussy" and "bitches", but he doesn't know what the words mean.

He goes to his mother and asks her what 'pussy' means, and she replies, "Son, a pussy is a cat".

He then asks her, "Well what is a 'bitch'?" and she replies "a bitch is a female dog".

Johnny is confused by the answers. They don't make sense in the context he heard he brother. He decides to ask his dad, to be sure.

"Dad, what is a pussy?" Johnny asks. His dad is busy watching football and just reaches into the drawer beside him, pulls out a Playboy magazine, and draws a big black circle around the centre-fold's crotch and says "That, Son, is a pussy."

Johnny then asks, "Well what's a bitch then?", and Dad replies "it's everything outside the circle."

(I know it's degenerate on multiple levels, so take it or leave it - it's a joke)

[–] 0 pt

Edit: don’t tell my wife I said that

Ditto

[–] 1 pt

Properly maintained it can be a very useful and multi-functional household appliance. Clothes washer, house cleaner (even better than a Roomba!), and sandwich maker. Just keep her properly lubricated and haul her ashes on the regular and they'll give years of reliable service.

(My wife's version of this joke covers husbands and auto repair and lawn maintenance. Fair is fair. Thirty-eight years ago her Irish granny took her aside before our wedding and gave her this advice: "Always keep his stomach full and his balls empty and you'll both have a long happy marriage.")