Properly maintained it can be a very useful and multi-functional household appliance. Clothes washer, house cleaner (even better than a Roomba!), and sandwich maker. Just keep her properly lubricated and haul her ashes on the regular and they'll give years of reliable service. (My wife's version of this joke covers husbands and auto repair and lawn maintenance. Fair is fair. Thirty-eight years ago her Irish granny took her aside before our wedding and gave her this advice: "Always keep his stomach full and his balls empty and you'll both have a long happy marriage.")