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263

Straight out of Office Space and the TPS report. This person may exist at your workplace. They are a non coding type, they pick up a phone and call tech support when they have a question. Quite often they are a woman. A person who has wiggled themselves into a very secure well paying position in a company, because they are the only one who can do anything with an interface from the late 90's.

Database query tools are there favorite haunting ground. They can't make any revisions to the wonky, unfriendly software, but they gain power by lording over the mis entered data, and sending middle mangers out to scold you about your mistakes.

Straight out of Office Space and the TPS report. This person may exist at your workplace. They are a non coding type, they pick up a phone and call tech support when they have a question. Quite often they are a woman. A person who has wiggled themselves into a very secure well paying position in a company, because they are the only one who can do anything with an interface from the late 90's. Database query tools are there favorite haunting ground. They can't make any revisions to the wonky, unfriendly software, but they gain power by lording over the mis entered data, and sending middle mangers out to scold you about your mistakes.

(post is archived)

[–] • 2 pts

We have one of these. Our AIX admin. Has no clue. If asked how something works, or to make any change at all. He calls IBM and schedules a call.

The last few times, i just went and did it myself, took all of 5 minutes. sent note to director and directors boss asking why we have a person who cant just take 5 minutes and solve a problem.

[–] • 1 pt

We have one of these. Our AIX admin. Has no clue.

that sounded like me, we'd inherited this ancient IBM mini computer running AIX and the guy who understood just left, so it got dumped on me. I knew naff all about UNIX, and because that was the only AIX machine and it ran an even more obscure Manufacturing system, then it wasn't an easy thing to learn anything about.

Luckily it was as solid as a rock and I rarely had to do anything. I doubt the company had a single clue just how much they relied on me to not to fuck it up...

I have to admit, Unix does its job and IBM makes some stellar reliable hardware, that box was older than the moon

[–] • 1 pt

Don't rat him out like a good goy, let him leech off the megacorp.. who cares?

[–] • 1 pt

I care. Every time he needs to do something i end up in 2+ meetings getting him to do the work correctly.

I am supposed to be his backup, he is supposed to be mine.

I complain all the time that he refuses to learn linux, windows, cloud, JS, python... Fuck he has to have someone else write bash for him!

I sent him a basic bash ---for i in (array); do (action)-- and he asked me what i was trying to have him do and if it was safe to run.

[–] • 0 pt

Hes probably old and about to retire. I personally wouldn't give a crap and just ignore him, I honestly give 0 shits what others do in the workplace and just mind my own business.

[–] • 0 pt

You will be him one day is why.

[–] • 2 pts

I've used The Honeywell Transaction Processing System and had big stacks of greenbar TPS reports.

[–] • 1 pt

OP described the premise of the tv show The IT Crowd.

[–] • 0 pt

You mean McAfee antivirus?

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Enterprise software: Same as the standard version, but with the one crucial feature that makes the software completely useless without it. Also, many obvious features not included in either version; maybe it'll be in next year's release. Hope you bought that subscription.

Standard version: Rifle Enterprise version: Rifle with ammo