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[–] [Sticky] • 10 pts

Bidet Master race

[–] [deleted] • 11 pts

You're still using a bidet? Seriously? That's fucking hilarious.

3 seashells all the way, mother fucker.

[–] • 2 pts

oh my god this guy doesn't know how to use the 3 shells?!

what an ape

[–] • 1 pt

fuck shit damn fuck damn shit damn shit

[–] • 2 pts

Seriously how does that work? I cant see it being effected all the time but how do you dry off? Toilet paper just denigrates when wet.

[–] • 7 pts

I finally bought one and it's the shit. Basically you turn the lever which causes the jet to pop down then it shoots a single solid stream of water at your butt. Mine has a second lever for water pressure but even at the lowest level it's still enough pressure to shoot out of the toilet bowl and arc a few feet into the wall. At the higher pressure water can go up into your butt if you don't clinch.

I still use toilet paper but just a lot less. If it's a softer stool I'll wipe once or twice to remove excess and then I use the bidet and it basically pressure washes everything off. Then I just wipe once or twice more to dry off and I'm done. It's a little intense the first few times but it doesn't hurt or anything. You'll never have another one of those shits where you sit there wiping for like 5 minutes straight

[–] • 1 pt

So..... Basically its a toilet hose? And there's a reasonable expectation of water, possibly containing shit, leaving the bowl, or blowing up my back?

And then ass towels for a final check

[–] • 0 pt

WTF

[–] • 0 pt

A stream ain't gonna work. All the shit isn't at a pinpoint on my ass.

[–] • 3 pts

I don't understand the Jap add-on toilet seat remote control crap. But when I got sent to Europe on work trips I loved using a bidet. It is a separate porcelain fixture next to the toilet. Do you business in the toilet, then move over to the bidet and wash your crotch and dry off with a towel. Great for after sex, too.

[–] • 2 pts

What towel? What happens to the towel? You wash it with your clothes? How many towels do you use? All shit is differ end, cant see a squirt of water cleaning all.

[–] • 2 pts

If you use soapy water (basically a shower) then your ass is clean and you use a towel to dry off.

[–] • 0 pt

Well fuck, yeah I could take a shower after every shit. Im talkin about that female Bidet shit.

[–] • 1 pt

It works. Clean arse. No need to wipe.

[–] • 0 pt

so you walk around with a wet ass after?

[–] • 1 pt

We had to go to the river back, in the good ol days.

Butt crack always shiny and clean.

[–] • 0 pt

You don't fire hose enema? In current year?

Pleb trash.

[–] • 0 pt

Imagine when the power goes out, youre helpless. Fucking caveman.

[–] • 0 pt

As long as I have water pressure, mine works

[–] • 0 pt

And what maintains your waterpressure precious?

[–] • 10 pts

The only reason your mom taught you to wipe from front to back is because she has a gash and girls don't want to get shit their gash. If you don't have a gash you don't need to wipe front to back.

[–] • 3 pts

Are you called shitballs ?

[–] • 6 pts

Never gotten shit on my balls. The trick is to stop wiping before you get to your ball sack. Do you smear shit all the way up your crack?

[–] • 2 pts

Nah, back to front seems very awkward to me.

[–] • 0 pt
[–] • 1 pt

Ive seen girls reach between their legs with wipe. Could have been drip dry piss but i broke up anyway.

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

The job's not over until the paperwork is done.

[–] • 1 pt

Do you look at every wipe till its clean?

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

How do blind people know when to stop wiping? By smell?

[–] • 3 pts

When you lose one sense, the other senses are enhanced. If they wanted to, they could read braile with their butts, detecting residue is no problem at all.

[–] • 2 pts

We do a taste test

[–] • 0 pt

You can see your own crack?*

[–] • 0 pt

Maybe when the toilet paper is clean? Though I found that to be unreliable.

[–] • 2 pts

Which way do you wipe if you're gender neutral, non-binary, female to male trans?

[–] • 2 pts

Only one way makes sense to me, no matter what. Im still trying to wrap my mind about the side to side.

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

No plan of battle survives first contact. Picking a strategy and sticking to it no matter what is inflexible and can't possibly be the optimal approach. Analyze the situation and dig in, so to speak, whether it's back to front, front to back, side to side or circular motion.

[–] • 0 pt

Oh fuck, now we got circular

[–] [deleted] • 2 pts

Start on the outside and home in on the target. Why spread shit around where there was none before?

[–] • 2 pts

I come to Poal, and they're like "Get a Bidet."

Fuck.

[–] • 2 pts

Side-to-side man myself, always been.

[–] • 2 pts

I suspected the crab people had found us, but I thought I'd at least be safe here

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

I wipe back to front, but instead of haphazardly dragging the paper across the hole and soiling my taint, I sort of hold the folded paper with my thumb and middle three fingers, anchoring my thumb at the ass end of the taint, preventing the shit from passing too far from the hole.

The middle finger does most of the hard word, but the other two fingers distribute the pressure and help prevent accidental push-through, and confine heavy accumulation safely in the center of the paper.

Those fingers slide the paper toward the anchored thumb, folding it and pinching it into itself and allowing for safe disposal. The pinky can hang, or if comfortable, serve as a second anchor point opposite the thumb.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

We only got 2 "WTF's" out of OP this time around. C'mon, we can do better than that.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

I feel as violated by this question as i did the FIRST time asked for a dick pic.

[–] • 1 pt

The real question is who stands up to address their mess before wiping and who remains in the seated position to wipe, never looking at the crime

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