I’ve never been to church in my life, but I’ve not violated any of the commandments. Politically, I’m a hair to the left of Hitler, BUT…if I find a bug in my house, I release him outside. I’m all over the map.
Will Jesus offer a probation program at the second coming? Sit down with HR and set some personal goals for the first quarter of Armageddon that would keep me from damnation? Or am I just fucked? in which case I will begin shooting jews on Armageddon launch day.
Unfortunately no, when He comes back, it's game over. So you better pick the right team before His return; or before you die, whichever happens first.
So, no credit given for all those doodle bugs I’ve thrown out the back door? I once pulled over to get a preying mantis off my windshield wiper. I think I’ve got an angle I can work, that the church never saw coming. Once I make my case to the underbosses, they’ll have to kick it upstairs. I’ll be right there in the front row with you; you’ll see.
Oh, is my Pornhub search history taken into consideration?
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