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I have an almost four month old baby. I thought I'd be a housewife and stay at home after he was born, but my old job asked for me to come back and offered me a bunch of extra money. The only reason I agreed is that I can take my baby with me and it is okay with them that he is my priority at all times.

I take care of an 86 year old woman. Housework, companionship, personal care. It's an easy job.

So here's the issue: my client's sweet daughter in law comes home from work and expects to hold my baby every evening. I am fine with this. She never leaves the house, he's always within my eyesight and she's a good Christian lady who I've known for a while now. She was only able to have one of her own and wished for more. But, she expects to hold my son until I get off work.

It would make my life a lot easier if I could nurse him before I get off work. As it is now, I get my baby back at 5:30 and then have to stay and get the baby calm enough to focus on nursing, then nurse the baby, before I can leave. This can take a while, and I have a husband waiting at home for me to bring him dinner!

Is it totally inappropriate to bring this up? I mean they are incredibly generous and the extra income is really helpful for us to build our little homestead faster. But... I agreed to work until 530. Nursing the baby isn't what they pay me for but they knew I'd be doing it on the job. He nurses every hour still. I don't like making my husband wait longer for dinner because this sweet lady wants to hold my baby a little longer than is convenient.

Should I just let it go and stay alonger because they're already being so accommodating about my son? Or is it appropriate to have a boundary here of leaving on time? This is a minor issue I'm having with the lady of the house, but her husband is my employer and his opinion on this is ultimately what matters if it becomes an issue. So I was hoping for a male point of view.

I have an almost four month old baby. I thought I'd be a housewife and stay at home after he was born, but my old job asked for me to come back and offered me a bunch of extra money. The only reason I agreed is that I can take my baby with me and it is okay with them that he is my priority at all times. I take care of an 86 year old woman. Housework, companionship, personal care. It's an easy job. So here's the issue: my client's sweet daughter in law comes home from work and expects to hold my baby every evening. I am fine with this. She never leaves the house, he's always within my eyesight and she's a good Christian lady who I've known for a while now. She was only able to have one of her own and wished for more. But, she expects to hold my son until I get off work. It would make my life a lot easier if I could nurse him before I get off work. As it is now, I get my baby back at 5:30 and then have to stay and get the baby calm enough to focus on nursing, then nurse the baby, before I can leave. This can take a while, and I have a husband waiting at home for me to bring him dinner! Is it totally inappropriate to bring this up? I mean they are incredibly generous and the extra income is really helpful for us to build our little homestead faster. But... I agreed to work until 530. Nursing the baby isn't what they pay me for but they knew I'd be doing it on the job. He nurses every hour still. I don't like making my husband wait longer for dinner because this sweet lady wants to hold my baby a little longer than is convenient. Should I just let it go and stay alonger because they're already being so accommodating about my son? Or is it appropriate to have a boundary here of leaving on time? This is a minor issue I'm having with the lady of the house, but her husband is my employer and his opinion on this is ultimately what matters if it becomes an issue. So I was hoping for a male point of view.

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[–] • 7 pts

Bloke here, I have a 3 year old son, so a small amount of experience.

I think you should be able to ask that you are able to nurse your baby whenever you choose to, babies need food when they need it and if it helps you with keeping a regular routine with the baby then that just makes things easier all round. The lady should be able to understand this.

On another note, I'd personally try to limit how much time she spends holding the baby. Depending on what "holding the baby" entails. I'd want the little tacker to be doing some tummy time, playing, exploring surroundings as well as interacting with you and/or other people. I have known some babies who were, lets say, closely monitored in everything they did and picked up all the time. All it does is increases their dependence and slows down their learning to move about independently. This can have benefits (baby gets lots of attention), but also drawbacks (baby is constrained from exploring and finding new and interesting things). It's always a balancing act though, and there are no definite right answers. Do what you feel is right and you'll be ok.

[–] • 2 pts

Thanks! I'm glad that seems reasonable, she didn't nurse and she had her baby eating every 4 hours at this age and I can tell she thinks it's strange mine nurses so often. But I'm glad from a husband's point of view it seems fair to take my baby back to nurse before I get off work, that will definitely make life easier, thanks for the input :)