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Obviously there was an age before toilet paper. Different methods for cleaning one's self have ranged in time and place. But one thing is for certain, a King isn't going to be expected to do it himself, especially with the more hand's on aspects of former methodologies.

The question is, would you do it, or opt for the job. If the job involved cleaning a man's back side twice or sometimes up to three times a day, which would only take about 45 seconds to do, but you were then free the whole rest of the day and lived a relatively ok lifestyle financially, would you do it?

In other words, would you rather clean a man's ass for 2m15s a day and live in the past or work a modern job 8-10 hours a day?

Obviously there was an age before toilet paper. Different methods for cleaning one's self have ranged in time and place. But one thing is for certain, a King isn't going to be expected to do it himself, especially with the more hand's on aspects of former methodologies. The question is, would you do it, or opt for the job. If the job involved cleaning a man's back side twice or sometimes up to three times a day, which would only take about 45 seconds to do, but you were then free the whole rest of the day and lived a relatively ok lifestyle financially, would you do it? In other words, would you rather clean a man's ass for 2m15s a day and live in the past or work a modern job 8-10 hours a day?

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[–] • 3 pts

First, you'd be lucky to only do it once a day. Couple the high fat diets with a good dose of intestinal parasites, you might just have a 'full time' job on your hands.

[This is historical rumor ... I've read articles that claim this is true, but have not read original sources. Your call if you wish to take it as legend or truth.]

But, that being said, look up the term the "privy council". This is a highly influential council that is close to the king / monarch / ruler that has heavy sway on matters of state. Some have suggested the origin of this term was from the kings butt cleaner who was (a) trusted to never hurt the king, (b) trusted to keep the kings secrets (including the aforementioned parasites, etc.) They were the only person in the kingdom that was guaranteed a private 5-10 minutes with the king daily. Even queens and other family members couldn't always get that. Because of this, the nobility, merchants, would do what they could to get in good with the privy council knowing a few key words could sway a tax deal or start a war.

So....

  • downside: rancid fat poop and intestinal parasites
  • upside: being one the most influential people in the kingdom and the resulting wealth associated with that position.

Meh... tough call.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

>high fat diets with a good dose of intestinal parasites>>

Ok, so nice watery shits that don't require any deep scooping with my fingertips to get all the nook and crannies. Sounds good.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

some have suggested

Pretty much anyone that studies history and etymology suggest.

Privy councillor was a royal arse washer and you dont want anyone you dont trust being the only person getting that close to a monarch unless you want them dead.

As a result they got more private time with that monarch than their other half.

[–] • 0 pt

the opportunity to subvert a kingdom and play with the kings fecal matter. sounds like the dream job of a jew.

[–] • 0 pt

Tbh I feel sorry for the King now. Can't get a break even when taking a shit.

[–] • 0 pt

Im sure Rihanna totally hates young women lining up to lick her arse clean.