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The old too young one is out, so now the church is looking for someone to become my new wife. Really its just a few couples in church who happen to know someone, etc. Anyways, I haven't dated in close to a decade now. The last time i dated was when my wife was still alive, and she passed away a few years ago. So really, the question, what exactly is it that I do? If I remember, i leave the clubbing the baby seals and the NSDAP rhetoric for late, right?

The old too young one is out, so now the church is looking for someone to become my new wife. Really its just a few couples in church who happen to know someone, etc. Anyways, I haven't dated in close to a decade now. The last time i dated was when my wife was still alive, and she passed away a few years ago. So really, the question, what exactly is it that I do? If I remember, i leave the clubbing the baby seals and the NSDAP rhetoric for late, right?

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[–] 4 pts

It depends on her age. If you're older and people are setting you up with 'age appropriate' women, then you must beware of why she is still single. I'd even be concerned if she's in her early 30s and still single since that means she's damaged or indoctrinated- probably not wife/mother material.

[–] 1 pt

She's in her late 30s, super christian, no prior marriage or kids. So in all, not the worst. I can't really complain though, since I'm a widower no kids, so I would hardly be justified to be super picky either

[–] 3 pts

Chat with her over coffee or a flight of wine. If God intends her to a good soul you will know. If she has good intentions you will know. Be truthful and straight forward and all will be well. Just just remember women don't have to be straightedge to be good material for children and chatting intelligently.

[–] 3 pts (edited )

I've had 3 friends successfully marry 'older women' (30's). (Two friends who were widowers, the other just didn't make dating a priority until he hit his mid 30's.)

All 3 women were devout Christians with little / no dating experience. So, no baggage there. But, what I found interesting was the _why_ they didn't date/marry in their 20's. One had medical issues which made it difficult. The others were just very socially awkward. Those coupled with the conservative Christian views resulted in ladies who didn't party / etc.

All have had very successful marriages a decade later.

Bottom line: Most single women in their 30's are going to be at least a bit 'damaged'. But, the question is what kind of damage? Single mom with 3 baby daddies? Yikes - stay away from that special hell. (Women with high sexual partner counts are far less able to commit to a long term relationship.)

But, someone who is just conservative and a bit awkward? Maybe has a few medial issues? Yeah - you can work with that.

since I'm a widower no kids, so I would hardly be justified to be super picky either

Gotta disagree with this. Look up "sexual marketplace value by age and gender." In summary - sexual market place value for men increases until they hit their 50's. This is because men become more financially and socially stable as they get older, but not too old to have a family. Being a widower suggests that were desirable to at least one other woman. Women seek social approval for their mates, so this is a point in your favor. And, you don't have kids which suggests you would be focused on your future kids and not distracted provided for your previous kids. (But, no telling if you have other baggage that offsets these points. :) )

[–] 0 pt

These guys are such dicks. It's not about being picky or not. You're a formerly-married man, albeit through no fault of your own, presumably a bit older yourself now. I hate to say "should," but the relationships that work out the best are between people with similar backgrounds and different personalities. So take from that what you will.

[–] 0 pt

if shes good lookin shes fucked 100 guys. At least.

[–] 1 pt

well she is quite good looking, so there goes that. Gotta keep my focus on the butterfaces

[–] 0 pt

Late 30's? Her fertility is a distant memory. Find someone who'll be able to give you progeny.