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[–] • 4 pts

you have hemorrhoids which can be internal or external

[–] • 0 pt

What dat?

[–] • 2 pts

You have hemorrhoids.

Not enough fiber or alcoholism or both

If you don't get it fixed you will have to go to a clinic and have your asshole stretched by a doctor

[–] • 0 pt

MANE u talking like dat makes meh horny

[–] • 3 pts

You're not getting enough fiber to draw enough moisture into your colon, creating problems.

Get some Metamucil. Not the one with fake sugar. A heaping tablespoon per 8oz of water once a day.

[–] • 2 pts

after taking a huge shit

Sure...

[–] • 1 pt

Stop eating glass!! I know it's crunchy but you gotta stop.

[–] • 1 pt

Use softer toilet paper.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

This is very serious. You must see a proctologist as soon as possible.

[–] • 1 pt

Large quantities of fresh yogurt will help.

Eating the yogurt is fine.

[–] • 1 pt

Yeah happens when they put rat poison in your food.

[–] • 1 pt

You HAVE TO remove the claws from the cat. We talked about this during your last health inspection.

[–] • 1 pt

Maybe try shitting in the bathtub while it’s full of water and hand wiping gently while submersed to avoid chafing?

[–] • 0 pt

can u come shit in yo tub and den u whipe meh?

[–] • 1 pt

Something like this used to happened to my friend but then he stopped being my friend so I stopped caring. He also had a bunch of cats. One of them mysteriously disappeared

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Why am i not surprised to see you chiming in on some weird shit like this.

[–] • 0 pt

Did he try smearing canned tuna on his scrotum and taint to lure it out of there?

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