I routinely help victims of domestic violence. The problem you face is that almost no victims of domestic violence are ready to accept help and do what it takes. 9 out of 10 women will immediately go back to the abusive relationship and 99/100 women who get out of an abusive relationship, end up in another abusive relationship. Last Friday, I took a woman to the court house and filled out all of her paperwork for a DVRO and we got the temporary restraining order with a move out order for the offender. This means that the guy who punched her in the head, choked her, threw her against walls, screamed in her face, threatened to kill her, threatened to make her homeless, controlled her finances, etc, was legally required to move out. Yesterday, she said she doesn't want him to go to jail. So, I put in hours and hours of work, achieved all goals (which are difficult to achieve) and she is going to let the whole thing fall apart. I warned her that I stopped helping women out these situations because they never follow through and that I would only agree to help if she agreed to follow the steps I laid out exactly. If I was paid to help someone like this, as a lawyer, it would cost thousands of dollars. Not only that, the judge assigned is an extraordinary colleague who has both a medical and a law degree and there isn't a better judge in the country to take the case. All for naught. So, keep that in mind. Everyone who helps DV victims is jaded and doesn't expect you to have what it takes to follow through. Step 1: Identify anyone who could potentially help you get a place to stay. If he isn't harmful to the kids, then it sounds like you are saying he is safe around the kids. This is unusual, as violently abusive husbands are generally never nice to kids and almost always manipulative and psychologically destructive against them. However, it means that only you need a place to stay and that is a tough pill to swallow. If he isn't hitting the kids, you don't get the kids. He will have custody, either in part or in full. You have the mistaken impression that the court will give you the children. The court ALMOST NEVER gives you full physical and legal custody of the children for the entirety of their childhoods. An abusive father merely has to complete some anger management courses, promise he will do better and can file any time to change the custody order. And a determined father, abusive or not, will pursue this relentlessly and use it as a vector of control over you. Step 2: Gather evidence. I do not recommend involving witnesses, because they will downplay the abuse and offer up retard explanations. Pictures of the abuse. Video. Audio recordings. This is really what you need, if you are going to have a definitive chance at winning. Evidence plus witnesses is fine. They merely need to confirm the pictures happened. Step 3: Gather resources and a "go bag" so that you can escape at a moment's notice. Locate the local food bank. Go to your court house self help office and ask them for a list of resources. There are dozens of non-profits and state, county and federally funded services that our collective tax dollars are ALREADY PAYING FOR. Drop your pride and get help from these services. It's already paid for. It's meant for people like you. LISTEN to these people. As I said, they have seen this so many times but truly don't expect you to listen. Step 4: Then file for a DVRO. Ideally, you have actually called the police once or twice and can demonstrate you've been living in fear. Once you have the TRO, start enacting all of your plans and have him served immediately. Don't wait for the sheriff. Get a friend to do it. Also have the sheriff do it, but have it served separately, as well. Immediately. Everyone may try to force you to file for divorce along with all of this. I've even had judges illegally order women to file for divorce amidst the DVRO. It muddies the waters. Avoid it. However, once a DVRO is granted you MUST file for divorce or you will look like an idiot and lose credibility with, basically, everyone. Divorce is a separate issue entirely. I help women (and occasionally men) seek safety. I'll only help with a divorce if it is necessary for safety and my criteria is specific. If you legitimately need help getting to a safe place, I can help get you started. But, I have to know you're telling the truth.