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Here i am asking for advice on my throwaway again.. i don’t know what to do here. i wanted to homeschool our kids, keep them out of daycare ect. and i know that statistically they’re more likely to fail without their dad. not to mention single moms are a joke. i’ve tried to enjoy the good moments and pretend the bad isn’t happening for years. but i get yelled at over stupid stuff almost daily, hit a few times a month at least. i’ve been hit nearly every holiday for years, especially on christmas. i’ve had so many lumps on my head, probably a few broken fingers, giant bruises, ect. he’s choked me. dragged me around by my hair. dumped full trash cans with heavy stuff on me. i can’t even list it all. he’s horrible. i’m dreading the holidays. this can’t be how my life was supposed to go. i need advice.

this is hidden from the kids so far.. my husband is a decent dad despite how he treats me. For the most part. Decent dads don’t hit their kids’ mom I guess. But he’s so protective of them, actually nice to them, that’s one of the main reasons I haven’t left. i wouldn’t keep them from him if we split, though i’d want them living with me. i don’t believe in child support, and want to homeschool the kids/keep them away from sitters. there’s probably no way to leave. should i continue to suffer silently for our kids or try to leave? if so, how? will i be viewed as a failure like typical single moms, even though my kids weren’t born out of wedlock? i would’ve left when this behavior started but it only started after i got pregnant with our first. i don’t have any family to go to because my parents were abusive as well. i feel so stuck. it’s like no matter what i do i’ll be miserable. stay and be yelled at and hit, or be single the rest of my life with kids who don’t have a dad. my life is a fucking joke. i’d do anything for my kids, i can’t stand being treated this way though. i’ve reached out on 4chan and a couple other sites and got such jewy answers. i know being a single mom isn’t ok, it’s terrible for kids and i feel selfish for even considering leaving. what do i do..?

Here i am asking for advice on my throwaway again.. i don’t know what to do here. i wanted to homeschool our kids, keep them out of daycare ect. and i know that statistically they’re more likely to fail without their dad. not to mention single moms are a joke. i’ve tried to enjoy the good moments and pretend the bad isn’t happening for years. but i get yelled at over stupid stuff almost daily, hit a few times a month at least. i’ve been hit nearly every holiday for years, especially on christmas. i’ve had so many lumps on my head, probably a few broken fingers, giant bruises, ect. he’s choked me. dragged me around by my hair. dumped full trash cans with heavy stuff on me. i can’t even list it all. he’s horrible. i’m dreading the holidays. this can’t be how my life was supposed to go. i need advice. this is hidden from the kids so far.. my husband is a decent dad despite how he treats me. For the most part. Decent dads don’t hit their kids’ mom I guess. But he’s so protective of them, actually nice to them, that’s one of the main reasons I haven’t left. i wouldn’t keep them from him if we split, though i’d want them living with me. i don’t believe in child support, and want to homeschool the kids/keep them away from sitters. there’s probably no way to leave. should i continue to suffer silently for our kids or try to leave? if so, how? will i be viewed as a failure like typical single moms, even though my kids weren’t born out of wedlock? i would’ve left when this behavior started but it only started after i got pregnant with our first. i don’t have any family to go to because my parents were abusive as well. i feel so stuck. it’s like no matter what i do i’ll be miserable. stay and be yelled at and hit, or be single the rest of my life with kids who don’t have a dad. my life is a fucking joke. i’d do anything for my kids, i can’t stand being treated this way though. i’ve reached out on 4chan and a couple other sites and got such jewy answers. i know being a single mom isn’t ok, it’s terrible for kids and i feel selfish for even considering leaving. what do i do..?

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[–] • 3 pts

This post feels very suspicious to me. I'm still going to answer it as though you're not playing some stupid game with Poal.

If being calm, direct, and explaining your position to him isn't working, you may have to have another man straighten him out. Men tend to react to hierarchies of respect, and your priest/minister might need to have this conversation with him. Maybe speak to his father, if they have a good relationship.

I think that divorce should not be the first reaction if he truly is a good father... but your children do not benefit from a household where they WILL eventually see spousal abuse modeled to them, and they certainly don't benefit from a dead mother.

If he can be persuaded to at least see that there is a problem, try to get him into couple's therapy with you. Whatever you do, since you have kids, always put them first... and realize that there are very rare cases when it benefits the children for the parents to separate if that's the only way to end abuse.