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Here i am asking for advice on my throwaway again.. i don’t know what to do here. i wanted to homeschool our kids, keep them out of daycare ect. and i know that statistically they’re more likely to fail without their dad. not to mention single moms are a joke. i’ve tried to enjoy the good moments and pretend the bad isn’t happening for years. but i get yelled at over stupid stuff almost daily, hit a few times a month at least. i’ve been hit nearly every holiday for years, especially on christmas. i’ve had so many lumps on my head, probably a few broken fingers, giant bruises, ect. he’s choked me. dragged me around by my hair. dumped full trash cans with heavy stuff on me. i can’t even list it all. he’s horrible. i’m dreading the holidays. this can’t be how my life was supposed to go. i need advice.

this is hidden from the kids so far.. my husband is a decent dad despite how he treats me. For the most part. Decent dads don’t hit their kids’ mom I guess. But he’s so protective of them, actually nice to them, that’s one of the main reasons I haven’t left. i wouldn’t keep them from him if we split, though i’d want them living with me. i don’t believe in child support, and want to homeschool the kids/keep them away from sitters. there’s probably no way to leave. should i continue to suffer silently for our kids or try to leave? if so, how? will i be viewed as a failure like typical single moms, even though my kids weren’t born out of wedlock? i would’ve left when this behavior started but it only started after i got pregnant with our first. i don’t have any family to go to because my parents were abusive as well. i feel so stuck. it’s like no matter what i do i’ll be miserable. stay and be yelled at and hit, or be single the rest of my life with kids who don’t have a dad. my life is a fucking joke. i’d do anything for my kids, i can’t stand being treated this way though. i’ve reached out on 4chan and a couple other sites and got such jewy answers. i know being a single mom isn’t ok, it’s terrible for kids and i feel selfish for even considering leaving. what do i do..?

Here i am asking for advice on my throwaway again.. i don’t know what to do here. i wanted to homeschool our kids, keep them out of daycare ect. and i know that statistically they’re more likely to fail without their dad. not to mention single moms are a joke. i’ve tried to enjoy the good moments and pretend the bad isn’t happening for years. but i get yelled at over stupid stuff almost daily, hit a few times a month at least. i’ve been hit nearly every holiday for years, especially on christmas. i’ve had so many lumps on my head, probably a few broken fingers, giant bruises, ect. he’s choked me. dragged me around by my hair. dumped full trash cans with heavy stuff on me. i can’t even list it all. he’s horrible. i’m dreading the holidays. this can’t be how my life was supposed to go. i need advice. this is hidden from the kids so far.. my husband is a decent dad despite how he treats me. For the most part. Decent dads don’t hit their kids’ mom I guess. But he’s so protective of them, actually nice to them, that’s one of the main reasons I haven’t left. i wouldn’t keep them from him if we split, though i’d want them living with me. i don’t believe in child support, and want to homeschool the kids/keep them away from sitters. there’s probably no way to leave. should i continue to suffer silently for our kids or try to leave? if so, how? will i be viewed as a failure like typical single moms, even though my kids weren’t born out of wedlock? i would’ve left when this behavior started but it only started after i got pregnant with our first. i don’t have any family to go to because my parents were abusive as well. i feel so stuck. it’s like no matter what i do i’ll be miserable. stay and be yelled at and hit, or be single the rest of my life with kids who don’t have a dad. my life is a fucking joke. i’d do anything for my kids, i can’t stand being treated this way though. i’ve reached out on 4chan and a couple other sites and got such jewy answers. i know being a single mom isn’t ok, it’s terrible for kids and i feel selfish for even considering leaving. what do i do..?

(post is archived)

[–] [deleted] 6 pts

You probably think you are smarter than him and you constantly belittle and undermine him. Maybe try letting him be a man and you keep your mouth shut. You know exactly why he hits you but you are too much of a feminist to take a back seat. Two people can't drive a car and two people cant be head of the household. Both of you sit down and take an IQ test. Whoever's score is higher gets to lead.

[–] 3 pts

No. IQ is not the determinant. The man is the man. But the learning to shut up and take a more supportive role is a good choice. The, "he's nice to the kids" is a clue.

[–] 2 pts

I know tough love kinda answers are needed sometimes but no. I’m not a feminist, that’s gross lol. I know that he’s smarter than me (despite his temper), believe men should lead the household and hate feminism. I want the trad life, I want to do things right. Which is why I ask if I should ignore my own discomfort for them. Kids need a mom and a dad or they end up crazy. Feminism ruined this country more than anything, in my opinion. Mothers should stay home and take care of the kids and house, and definitely homeschool. I want this for my kids so badly. I thought I had this all figured out but my husband is ruining it.

He is smart and loving to the kids but you cant figure out why he keeps hitting you? He has probably told you a million times but you are so stupid that he has to resort to beating it into you. If it's really not you then there is some other reason that you are too stupid to figure out.