It would be so easy to rattle off a bunch of criteria, i.e., you are quick to forgive, you honor birthdays and anniversaries, or you don't lie to each other, but all those things are a given in a mature marriage. What makes a long lasting relationship great is serving each other each and every day, you know, the little things that can make life easier. Making coffee or breakfast, or packing a lunch. Preparing dinner together Repairing a car, keeping it filled with gas. Keeping your home and car clean Saying thank you, please, or I appreciate you. Sending a quick text to say I love you or you look beautiful today. Most don't get to experience this type of deep relationship; however after 45 years you have built a foundation that is pretty solid. There is acceptance of who you are and are becoming. There is a deep love, and even deeper trust. My relationship is build on the life of Christ. To adopt those principles, I have found that I am a protector, creating a safe haven for my family. My wife is a carer, nurturing each person in a way that promotes healthy attitudes. We both provide and contribute to the relationship in a way that encourages each of our unique gifts; some financial, some service, some emotional, but always learning, always teaching. It is about "us", it is not about "me". Your investment is in each other. The biggest trait to a successful marriage is always saying you are sorry when things get tough, even if it is not your fault. Big impact! Humility defuses anger and helps everyone heal quickly. When people are able to admit when they are wrong, they grow. Every human being will argue and disagree in a marriage, but what is important is what you do with that conflict. There is a choice, to build the foundation stronger or destroy it. Choose wisely. A man should lead. That leadership makes everyone feel safe, loved and accepted. That leadership creates an environment in which each person has the opportunity to accomplish what they dream. That type of leadership inspires. Remember, in the beginning, it does take alot of work, but it is worth it. But, over time the marriage becomes easier and easier to the point that it becomes natural. It becomes natural that you confide in the other. It becomes natural that you want to spend time with your spouse, talk about work, plans, dreams, issues of the heart, etc. There becomes this pleasant desire to do even more to make your wife, your home, your family a good one, without even realizing it. I understand why those people live longer. It is knowing you don't want to live without this person. So, what makes a good marriage after 45? Building a strong foundation, a good example: Christ - follow his teachings Leadership: lead by example, creating a safe home environment Humility: Always say your sorry and never take the relationship for granted Love: Say it everyday, show it everyday Service: What can you do to make her life easier and better today. Awareness: That life in general can be stripped away in a moment's notice, cherish what you have built while you have it. Charity: Help others less fortunate than you.