"It was only one drag" "it was only one drink" "it was only one pill" Addicts always try and convince others that their behavior is what's normal. It's not. No matter how often you repeat it or how many others you get to join you in your addiction. You're doing it "every day"..to your kids. Not with them, to them. You think being in the same room fucking matters ? HAHAHAHAHA. All you've done is show your kid(s) is that you view the electric jew as a reward (something to be valued above most other things) You've shown them that no matter what happens to them you'll be there to WATCH it happen to them and not protect them from it. Try fucking reading them a book as a reward. There are plenty of stories that help with development at any age. https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/health-topics/ta7018 You want to watch t.v. to zone out ? That's your call, but stop subjecting your kids to outright brainwashing and even more stop trying to pretend that it's "okay, cuz it's only once a day". You need to get away for a few hours ? Your husband should be there to do that, or his family or yours. If you don't have that...what the fuck did you breed (and breeding with him) for ? Perhaps you need to have some explain your life choices to you so you can alter your patterns and become a better human and thus a better parent and citizen.