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As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's.

With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's. With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

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[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

It sure is a stupid question someone my age shouldn't be asking, but I am sincerely working to change my life so it is worth the scrutiny. That had to be an awesome feeling meeting someone that aligns with you so much. I've had small glimpses of that with random girls in the past, and even if we aren't particularly interested in each other the attraction level jumps a lot because it must be an uncommon thing to experience.

Anyway, thanks for your response, I definitely see the value in doing that. Its an effective way to quickly determine if you guys are on the same wavelength with things.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I've had small glimpses of that with random girls in the past, and even if we aren't particularly interested in each other the attraction level jumps a lot because it must be an uncommon thing to experience.

Those are your clues that will lead you home. It's like a puzzle piece shaped hole in your heart, you might find a lot of puzzle pieces that are quite similar but don't quite fit correctly. Those women in your life give you clues what woman you should be looking for, and can often be surprising or not what you expected.