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As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's.

With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's. With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

(post is archived)

I'm responding late, but thank you for your advice. A simpler version of what you said existed in my mind in a blurrier, more ambiguous way, and its very helpful to read that concrete explanation. I just have to continue doing exactly what I'm doing right now. I feel very good about the future. Thanks again and happy 4th.