Welcome • User Guide
ToS • Privacy • Canary
Donate • Bugs • License

©2026 Poal.co

1.2K

As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's.

With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

As the title says. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, and in repair mode from a decade of nihilism and stupid choices. Once I hit 30, I realized this is serious, and I no longer have some endless infinite amount of time in front of me... made a lot of drastic decisions like ghosting all of my deadbeat friends, and establishing something long term for myself. Fast forward to now, I have a pretty good career in software development and started a small home repair type business which could hopefully turn into something big as time goes on. Mentally I'm in a far better place as well, with a positive outlook on the future. But the truth is, I'm lost with finding a quality girl, and part of me feels like its too late as its something I had to figure out in my late teens or early 20's. With that said, what traits or actions should I (or anyone) possess to increase the odds of finding someone who is a keeper? This place has a way with honesty and bluntness, which is exactly why I'm asking this here. Thanks.

(post is archived)

You are currently inside a comment thread.
Click here to see all the comments (47).
[–] • 2 pts (edited )

If she is straightforward, honest (even if she too has made a few poor decisions in the past), willing to communicate, thinks beyond material things, and values family I think you should give her a chance.

Check out Meetups (not a dating site) and filter for groups interested in outdoors, foraging, fishing, conservative/republican, libertarian, car shows/mechanical, trade workers, etc. Get to know women in those types of groups. Even if some only want to be friends, network from there. Chances are they know someone looking to date and you can be "referred" by someone who knows your not a creep lol

Theres always church groups too, but that can be hit or miss

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

Thank you for your answer. I'm moving from the Chicago suburbs to somewhere in Texas in the 18-24 months, it looks like I have a great opportunity in front of me.

[–] • 1 pt

I realized now that I totally read the end of your post as "what actions or traits should I look for in a keeper"

Good luck in Texas! I think there is a good chance you will find the right woman there!