You've been niggerized and accept it as your natural condition Stop. Today.
Most people walking the earth do so under adverse conditions and their potential means nothing if it isn't made kinetic. You have find your path and start moving forward from the point of today. Never look back, at least not until you find yourself.
If you have potential, what is it? (Be honest with yourself.) What are your strong points and why aren't you moving towards making a foundation from those?
I'm female. Never received a cent from my toxic family. I am successful today because I realized that a willingness to start from less than nothing is no different than writing your own life story. It may take a few re-writes to get what you want, but it's something that always possible as long as health permits.
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