If you're married, absolutely fucking not. You swore an oath, "through sickness and health".
If it's just some woman you're dating, and she falls into this shit, and isn't seeking help and trying to improve herself.... run. You have no true obligation to her if you are not married, and you have to ask yourself: "How many years of my life will I dedicate to trying to fix this person? Can I count on her, or will she crumble at the first moment of stress, leaving me alone to deal with the mess?"
It sucks, but it might actually help her. If she's depressed, a change in environment/habit/lifestyle can often "reset" the brain. You leaving her might be the best thing for her, long-term... of course, she'd be devastated in the short term.
Amen and yes. I've fought with depression for years... You don't need that shit.
Edit: Depressed people drive me crazy... because I found a way out, most don't really want help, they just want your sympathy, and to suck you emotionally dry. Run. Unless you're married but by GOD don't have kids. It will only make things worse.
Pussies have taken over the word "depression" to mean broken or something. I think we all fall into depression every now and then. Some harder than others. The difference is, like you said, the strong work through it and find a way back to happiness.
Most depression is situational. Humans were not meant to be slappy-happy all the time. Being down or angry some of the time is normal.
Yes this, also personal conspiracy theory of mine in commiefornia: One of the things that can stop you from being able to buy a gun is "mental health issues" There is a big push right now to "stop the stigma of mental health" What they really want is people to say they have mental health issues when they are depressed. Then they will buy anti-pression pills from big pharma, which then justifies and makes people need their mandatory health insurance in the state, it also will bar them from being able to buy a gun, and at the same time help justify any red flag accusations to take any guns you might already have.
Instead, if you are depressed it's probably because your life sucks for some reason, figure it out and change your habits.
Yeah, real clinical depression is an entirely different beast from the tumblr tier "omg I'm so depressed". In my personal experience, to suffer from depression is to feel entirely empty, devoid of any and all emotions. You want to feel frustrated that you cannot feel anything, yet you cannot feel frustration either. It feels like a piece of your soul is missing, like you lost something that made you human. Every day is hell, and death seems like the only salvation. As the depression drags on, all hope of eventually simmers out. The loss of hope that it might one day get better is one of the core symptoms of depression. There's constant rumination about all the things you've done wrong in your life.
True, severe depression is one of the worst diseases, and it is a spiritual ailment of the soul in a decaying and diseased society. In my case, the first emotion I felt when I started recovering was loneliness. I did not recognize it at first. It felt like something was eating away at me, and it hurt. I was missing something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I figured out this feeling was loneliness. When I was internalized with other depressed people, you could see it in their eyes. Glazed over. When they walked, it was like they were dragged forward by invisible chains, and their shoulders were weighted down by heavy weights, causing them to slump over. Some of them would just sit in one spot all day and stare ahead. I was the same.
Since when did men give a fuck about happiness? I thought men just did what needed to be done. This whole idea of being happy all the time is utter nonsense in my opinion.
I have been depressed for years and didnt even know it. I always though depression meant you wanted to kill yourself.
Iv had depression forever iv just gotten used to it. It got real bad a couple years ago so I started working out and it really kicked most of it out. It’s always there but it’s in the background now
I can't stand depressed people who want to make it an identity and talk about it constantly. They treat it like it's something that happens to them rather than a reflection of the way they're living.
I remember when my Depression first started in high school. I came To school one day and it was like the world was grey or something. It never really went away. It comes and goes. It’s gotten a lot better since I started whipping my Own ass at the gym and sacrificing cats to my lord satan
most don't really want help, they just want your sympathy, and to suck you emotionally dry.
Succubi are real. One of my best friends married one... holy fuck this is spot on. I can't stand to be around people like that, "Negative Nancies" or "Negative Nellies." People who always refuse to see the bright side - who actively fight against it when you try to suggest anything positive about their life (and eventually yours). Nope - I test the waters a few times then nope the fuck out with people like that. You're exactly right - they will just suck your positive energy (optimism, whatever) dry.
There's honestly is no escape from depression.
There's no way out. You can distract yourself with work, hobbies and exercise all you want, but deep down, you're still not as happy as you want to be while doing it all, and looking back at it retrospectively, you won't find that overall happiness.
Medication doesn't work either - it just masks the depression and compresses it even more.
Compressing it will make you have a complete nervous breakdown where you'll be at the crossroads of going completely crazy and doing something that you'll eventually regret, or suppressing it until the next nervous breakdown where you're compounding it on top of the depression that you've been carrying your whole life.
I've had several breakdowns & been hospitalized for stress, homelessness, and 2 suicide attempts.
I just had a breakdown 3 weeks ago where I was almost murdered outside of my apartment building for having a breakdown & my whole neighborhood watched. My asshole neighbors would've rather gone viral for recording a murder on their phones than actually using it to call the police.
The only escape is death. It's honestly the only way for your soul to be relieved of the pain of your deep seeded depression.
Your brain is a problem solving computer. It's presented with patterns, some simple, some complex, and attempts to solve them.
Your brain is a massively parallel problem solving computer. Some problems can't be solved. Some of those problems are minimal and are put aside. Some are less minimal and your brain continuously tries to solve them. This can happen consciously or unconsciously. Your genetics and environment may predispose you to treating minimal problems as more important than they are, and you can't get past them.
So parts of your brain just get stuck looping through problem solving. Over and over.
Your brain is a biological massively parallel problem solving computer. It runs on cells. Those cells require energy, those cells require resources. When a bunch of those cells get stuck looping, they burn too much of those resources. This causes dysfunction in other areas of the brain.
This is clinical depression.
How do you escape it? It's possible but difficult. It can be mitigated to a significant extent. Keep your nutrition up, don't skip meals, take supplements. Even plain old multivitamins will help. Meditation can help you find those loops and bring them to the front. If you can accept those problems, at least for now, you can possibly stop those loops.
You can escape, and it takes time. Your brain takes time to re-wire, but it's possible. A mountain is carved by water over thousands of years, so too the brain's connections are carved by years of doing. How do you expect to undo a lifetime of bad habits in a few months?
If you have a defeatist attitude about it, you will prove yourself right. Obviously, you'll never escape it if you convince yourself you can't.
First step in doing anything is convincing yourself its possible. It has always helped me to think about all the things I'm thankful for. I love laying in the bed because I'm warm and relatively safe there, I contrast it with the thought of what it is like being cold and on a dangerous street, and I take relief and joy that I am not in that situation. I can find tons of little things to be happy about, and anytime I need to, that's what I do.
Making myself stronger helps too, exercise is a natural anti depressant, gotta get those natural endorphins flowing! But honestly most people don't start exercising because they try WAY too hard at the beginning. You gotta start small and just dedicate time to doing something easy on a regular basis. Go for a walk once a day for a week, and just dedicate the time, don't kill yourself jogging at the beginning. Eventually after enough days, you'll decide to walk farther, or faster on your own. Its more about time dedication and consistency than it is about diving in head first.
I know and understand the feeling, but people do find their way out.
The answer to it is that being depressed gives you something. For me it was a feeling of comfort and power (ironic I know.) Suicide was definitely all about contol over my life.
As soon as I stopped wanting what they claimed to offer me - they had no power.
Why depressed people bug the crap out of me is that they always argue to stay depressed, and then when I say that there is hope, they say I was never really depressed.
Pardon my french, but fuck them and go fuck yourself with all that bullshit. And I say that lovingly.
If you want to stay depressed I'm not going to stop you, but I'm not buying that load of BS.
I saw and read this article today and it made me think of you: https://www.psypost.org/2021/06/psilocybin-therapy-appears-to-be-at-least-as-effective-as-a-leading-conventional-antidepressant-61015
I'd go along these lines as well, with a caveat on the girlfriend part. It depends how much that depression affects the rest of her life, what she's doing about it, and how positive the other traits of her are. I agree with you on the "seeking help" part, but said "help" doesn't necessarily have to be a shrink or meds (those things can often make things much worse).
You can have someone who has depression who deals with it very well and who overall is a decent person - or you can have someone who plays the blameshift game and drags you through the drama carousel. Both of those scenarios are very different.
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