There is a biological basis for true ADHD but it is tragically and vastly misdiagnosed.
If you didn't feel like studying bullshit subjects and didn't love busy work, it doesn't mean you're ADHD, it simply means you don't give a shit about what your child's mind, at face value, saw as meaningless tasks.
Oh... you're not into meaningless tasks? Let's call you deficient and medicate you into happy slavery.
That's basically what is happening.
I've put my foot in my mouth before, because there are actual cases, just be aware most aren't.
For this reason, a lot of people benefit from assessing the value, importance and meaning of the tasks they are doing.
Recognize WHY you are doing something.
Kids don't do homework because they have a motivation, not a concentration problem.
So, ask yourself, when you are hitting a wall, if you are experiencing trouble concentrating or if you are experiencing a bout of idgaf.
Also, emotional avoidance is pretty common. Assessing if there is an emotional issue surrounding certain tasks is important, as well. Usually, this is finances or cleaning, for people. To help, prioritize all life problems and all tasks according to financial value. Bad cleaners usually just don't know how to clean and move a mess around infinitely without ever actually getting anything clean. This isn't ADHD.
To be a better cleaner, there are a few rules. 1. Everything needs a home. Each item that is out, needs a place where it can be put away. 2. Nothing on the floors, nothing on counter tops. 3. If you haven't used it in a year, get rid of it. 4. Clean in short 15 or 30 minute blocks. Making everything spotless is nice, but that's not how your house STAYS clean.
After a bit of introspection, if you've decided you're actually having trouble concentrating and it's not that other stuff, assessing your sleep situation is the first place to start.
In general, you're staying up too late and most people ruin their good sleep with screens intheir bedrooms and substance abuse. No devices in the bedroom. If you're smoking, drinking, sniffing... whatever... do it in the morning so that it doesn't interfere with your REM. Preferably quit. Caffeine, too.
Next are your hunger hormones which nature has specifically designed to break your concentration to remind you to get food. A small portion of oatmeal and an omelet for breakfast is really the best way that I've found to interrupt that hunger hormone cycle. No two people are alike, though. Basically, you're looking for a way to feel full without eating that much.
The next is interpersonal conflict. Dropping high conflict people from your life is about the best possible maneuver, in life, as nothing will lend itself to your productivity more.
After that, when it comes to doing your stubborn task, making baby step outlines and focusing on step one at a time, without worrying about the big picture, is the best approach.
This also allows you to hit a project in short 15 to 30 minute blocks. This also allows you to delegate pieces more easily to other people.
If you still need a chemical enhancement, avoid Adderall and ask for dexedrine. Its what they give fighter pilots. You'll find that quite a few historical figures were on amphetamines regularly. If you knew where to get chemically pure cocaine... very small doses would work, too. I don't know that it is actually available, though, in this day and age. I'm pretty sure it's all adulterated.
I live with a hoarder. He's been cleaning his garage for five years and it only gets worse as he stuffs it with more useless random junk. His room is reduced to narrow paths. The guest bathroom was the same till I tossed stuff out so I could use it. Now he's taken to storing stuff in the hallways as he can't get in the two spare bedrooms. I've. Found stored garbage in those rooms.
Your advice will help me keep up with this chaos.
Hoarders are a combination of problems, but the primary issue is that they mentally assign way too much value to their junk.
Help them assess the value realistically. First, there is the value of the item, but then there is the rent it costs to keep that item. Say you have 1,000 Sq ft and you pay $1,000 per month for it. If 500 Sq ft is covered in junk, then you are paying $500 per month to store it.
First, calculate how much you are paying to store junk. Then, pick out some of the worst eyesores and point out how much per month and per year it costs to keep it around.
The aforementioned rules are perfect for hoarders.
Also, hire a cleaning lady when they're gone. While the cleaning lady is there, throw out tons of useless shit and blame it on her.
A hoarder can't clean without help. You have to break down a few mental barriers first, while also training them what actually constitutes as "clean."
When they are ready for the talk, literally explain to them that they have a delusion that they are cleaning, but they have to recognize its been a few years and nothing is clean... just moved around.
"Hoarders are a combination of problems, but the primary issue is that they mentally assign way too much value to their junk."
Totally it.
"Also, hire a cleaning lady when they're gone. While the cleaning lady is there, throw out tons of useless shit and blame it on her."
We recently stripped the old shingles and repaired damaged or rotted wood. While my friend mostly napped in his bedroom, watching TV and only got involved when I needed him for signing off on paperwork I used the trash trailer to get run of stuff. The garage attic needed clearing also because the weight of junk has caused the ridge to sag and we need to repair that. One rafter actually split.
Notable things I tossed, five decent sets of snow skis with some ski boots. He doesn't ski as he is crippled years of dusty Christmas decoration his mother stored and just random broken stuff. Couple items I saved: Two life magazine from JFK inauguration and news clippings from the event. He told me I can have it. What I set aside and didn't tell him about are some we two vintage bottles from Europe. I'm guessing huge fancy whisky bottles his stepfather stored away. He ignores stuff I save in plain sight as junk. His step dad brought back a jap flag made of sik that looks like it was battle captured. I saved that and told him of it but he's not impressed. During this process I found his old yearbooks from school with records and saved them in a box. A few years back I helped him change out the deadbolts and knobs on his front door. He put the old hardware in a box on a steel cabinet. Needing a place to stash the school records and yearbooks I glanced inside the other box, saw old hardware that's been sitting there four years and traded boxes out. When he found the empty box in the recycle pile of boxes I was cutting down for the blue bin he was livid. He starts raging on and on about the loss and claims it was worth forty dollars. I point out he doesn't even have keys to the discarded door hardware and he then claims he does. I recount all the important repair work I've done while never asking for a dime. "Do you need a dead bolt some where? I'll buy new stuff. "
Nothing calms him down. Next day while paying the contractor he's still pissed off at me. The contractor tells him all the money I've saved him, reminds him how I fired the first contractor and am still covering that issue and having them investigated. The contractor was able to leave the jobsite every day while leaving his crew under my supervision. They bend a nail, I order it pulled back and done right. Woe to the guy who scuffed the new shingles. Off the job. Split repair wood? Replace it and get lectured on proper techniques. I had critical work done no one even noticed. Entry way awning was literally falling off the building and doing the splits because it ha no collar tie. Solution? Apply steel straps over ridge, jack it back up and pull rafters back together with cargo straps. Then add collar ties. Contractor insisted on using a dozen nails poorly done by his workers with that God cursed nail gun they are addicted to. I had him go get three half inch bolts which actually pulled the beams tight. Contractor also recounted how it was I who found a gas leak in the attic and pressured him to help me redo the line to his dryer in the garage. Leak was right by the vent to the kitchen stove that vented directly into the attic near the leaking joint.
This house had a fire years ago in the same spot. Obvious signs off past repairs and scorched wood.
after contractor laid this all out to him and told him how I look out for his real interests my homeowner frien came out to apologize.
I am saving your post on my phone because I "have" combined type ADD and ADHD and taking Adderall made me feel like strung out shit. I took myself off and ended a few extremely toxic associations with people and I'm doing much better.
I have very loud thoughts , vy that I mean my internal thoughts and voice are louder to me than outside voices because I think all the time. I don't think it's a problem but some one has to be practically in my face to break me out of my thoughts lol. Not all the time , just more often than not. Idk what that would be called. But in essence, I really appreciate your comment and it makes the most sense.
vy that I mean my internal thoughts and voice are louder to me than outside voices because I think all the time. I don't think it's a problem but some one has to be practically in my face to break me out of my thoughts lol.
I used to be just like that. It subsided once I could make my own life choices and especially when started to take responsibility for my choices and my environment.
I see it like that: If you are stuck in a grocery line, it's normal for your mind to drift away. If you have a toxic family or feel stuck in a place (like a school where you don't learn anything or a job where you only pretend to work) your entire life feels like waiting in a grocery line. Forever.
It's a psychological defense mechanism against boredom and abuse. It's healthy in a grocery line and other environments where you have no control. In adulthood however it's not healthy if you constantly think about things you could've said or always dream of success while your life goes nowhere.
Such a good analogy! Thank you. You are absolutely right on!
(post is archived)