If I was in a relationship with a man and I got wind of him having someone else, that's an instant dealbreaker and would result in the relationship being instantly over. That's degenerate behaviour. Loyalty is the #1 trait above all else. I'm not the silver medal to anyone's affections. Fortunately, my husband didn't play this headgame horseshit with me and shares the same views. That being said though, the bit you said about the finances is true for most women.