If your wife has left herself go, became overweight/obese, isn't taking care of the house/kids. Tell her she needs to shape up. exercise with her, get the kids to help with the house, make a game of it. like who can clean their room the fastest etc. From a superficial standpoint if the man is taking care of his health and his family, his wife should be the same. The amount of older men that look miserable married to 300lb harpies who are into "woke" culture is scary.