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I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

(post is archived)

[–] 3 pts (edited )

Has it been a really stressful period in his life, where he's been working non stop then coming home to be a single parent?

I ask because sometimes people in these situations can feel so overwhelmed and like they're drowning in misery. They need to do something for themselves before they break.

I have a little one so I don't ride anymore, but I used to. When you're on the road it's just you and the bike and you're getting the best therapy you can find. There are no bills, parental responsibilities, bosses, family problems or stresses, any turmoil is temporarily suspended and it's just a road and engine with steady vibration that soothes the mind and soul.

Of course, you need to take into consideration if he's being irresponsible or if it's just this one thing. If it's just this one thing and he seems to not be struggling, be upset. But even in a good marriage people get stressed and need an outlet. This guy is doing it alone. Well, no not alone. He's probably being harassed on a regular basis by the ex, her family, and the kid is probably sad about mommy because they don't have the age to understand. It's just a lot of stress. When people are stressed heavily, it's like they have blinders on and they can't see outside of what directly affects them. They're not going to be thinking about how that choice impacts you.

$1200 is a lot of money. If I saw the guy is being a good parent and friend, I would consider his debt paid. Good friends help one another and he will eventually repay through money and/or help in the future. If he's not being a good parent and he's doing other things that are detrimental to himself, then it's time to say hey buddy, I really need that money ASAP, I've got this bill and it needs to be paid. There's another stimulus so if he already spent it, another is coming and he should be able to make do. Whether or not you get the money will determine if you continue to have anything to do with him. If he gets it to you ASAP, you know he's still reliable. If he doesn't, the price you paid to get a child into a better situation was well worth it.

Thanks for being a good human. There aren't many out there. Don't let money ruin a good relationship, but don't let the failure of him to pay you back be ignored if there are other signs of it not being a true friendship. A lot of people pay lip service to friendship and aren't actually there for you. But if he's been there for you in the past and was solid, don't hold it against him.