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I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

I know right off the bat you fags will say "You should never loan money to friends..." but let's put it into context...about two years ago one of my best friends was having custody issues with his ex over his son....she is a meth junkie, he is a hard working guy that doesn't make tons of money but gets by...I dont make tons of cash either but have always kept a good nest egg for "just in case" situations, I told him I'd give him an open ended loan of $1500 to start the custody battle process, that he could payback over time in any way possible without putting him or his family in a financial bind. (He won in the courts and has full custodyof his son since)...over the two years he managed to pay $300 on it which was fine...those were the terms. This year around tax season and Biden bucks I estimated he raked in around $10,000....he talked about clearing all his debts, to which I said...."Clear up all your bills, and whatever your family needs before closing the debt with me...family first..." Well yesterday I got on Faceberg as I do when I'm hungover and being lazy to see my friend has bought him a nice new motorcycle.....Initially I became pissed, and remain pissed (More offended, or hurt...but pissed!) Thoughts? Am I being a bitch about it?

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[–] • 14 pts

Give money with the expectation of never getting it back. That's how I see it. Only give what you can afford to lose. The dude obviously isn't putting your loan at the top of the list. I'd say kiss that money goodbye but never give him money again.

[–] [deleted] • 6 pts

I told my wife I never expected too see the money again, but helping his child was worth it....so I never brought it up, but the motorcycle shit was a smack in the face

[–] • 7 pts

People who need to borrow money are usually people who are not good at managing money. People who, for example, buy a motorcycle instead of paying off their debts.

[–] • 4 pts

I do understand. Money can drive a wedge between family and friends. If I borrow money, I put that pay back at the top of the to-do list cuz I know how people can get, no matter who it is. I hate asking people for money but sometimes it's whatcha gotta do.

[–] • 0 pt

I give and don't expect return. I end up getting more returns from good friends than the money would ever account. I gave one buddy 40 dollars here and there and when he had he bought me lunch and drinks more than what I ever gave and changed the brakes on my car ( which itself would have payed me back more) to pay me back for his conscience even though I would have given it to him had he asked but he asked for a loan. Just treat people well, don't worry about what they give back just invest in your community and the good faith/habits that are healthy

[–] • 1 pt

was it a smack in the face or does it indicate you made him feel comfortable about the loan? It indicates he felt comfortable and good, you helped with that. You cannot blame anyone but yourself for making your friends feel comfortable.

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Yes it was. But hes probably thinking you dont care. You should let him know otherwise.

edit

Oh and get ready for "but its for my fammeliyuh" response..

[–] • 0 pt

I either give it with no expectation of getting it back or demand collateral that's worth several times the loan. Make sure you take possession of the collateral. Offer to buy something of theirs at 1/4 it's value, hold it for a year then sell it back to them at what you paid.

I've noticed with the 2nd option the conversation always just ends there almost as if they had no intention of paying me back.