Give money with the expectation of never getting it back. That's how I see it. Only give what you can afford to lose. The dude obviously isn't putting your loan at the top of the list. I'd say kiss that money goodbye but never give him money again.
I told my wife I never expected too see the money again, but helping his child was worth it....so I never brought it up, but the motorcycle shit was a smack in the face
People who need to borrow money are usually people who are not good at managing money. People who, for example, buy a motorcycle instead of paying off their debts.
I do understand. Money can drive a wedge between family and friends. If I borrow money, I put that pay back at the top of the to-do list cuz I know how people can get, no matter who it is. I hate asking people for money but sometimes it's whatcha gotta do.
I give and don't expect return. I end up getting more returns from good friends than the money would ever account. I gave one buddy 40 dollars here and there and when he had he bought me lunch and drinks more than what I ever gave and changed the brakes on my car ( which itself would have payed me back more) to pay me back for his conscience even though I would have given it to him had he asked but he asked for a loan. Just treat people well, don't worry about what they give back just invest in your community and the good faith/habits that are healthy
was it a smack in the face or does it indicate you made him feel comfortable about the loan? It indicates he felt comfortable and good, you helped with that. You cannot blame anyone but yourself for making your friends feel comfortable.
Yes it was. But hes probably thinking you dont care. You should let him know otherwise.
edit
Oh and get ready for "but its for my fammeliyuh" response..
I either give it with no expectation of getting it back or demand collateral that's worth several times the loan. Make sure you take possession of the collateral. Offer to buy something of theirs at 1/4 it's value, hold it for a year then sell it back to them at what you paid.
I've noticed with the 2nd option the conversation always just ends there almost as if they had no intention of paying me back.
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