You might have to become the bigger monster, and resign yourself that you had no real choice in the matter, your hand was forced, and the new world owes it's freedom and security to your sacrifice of your blood, heart, mind, and soul for the sake of your people's future. A lot of works of fiction like to depict heroism as this thing that doesn't hurt you inside, something that doesn't make you have to do things that you will despise yourself for doing for the rest of your life, this is the true cost of war, not the loss of life or innocence, but the assumption of guilt, you will never know if you had no choice, you will never know if you did the best thing you could have done, I'd say that self-loathing is the true sign of great hero, because he was willing to go beyond his moral boundaries in order to set things rightly. Maybe this is the true meaning of the heroes journey? the supernatural world is the world beyond the laws and morals to which the hero is accustomed, where conflict occurs, and he is changed irreversibly by the things he does, but in his case, it's not something that improves him, it's something that taxes on him, and will do so for the rest of his days, but the world is indeed much better for it. The cost of being a good person who fought for what was right, is being unable to say that you are such a person to yourself ever again. We might have to see Whites fighting to overthrow their own governments and install dictatorships (just like the old days). We might have to see Whites going around hunting down non-Whites, even children and innocents who did no harm (I could see asians being spared this treatment though, and even enlisted as allies in this endeavor, again, just like the old days). We might have to see a lot of war, both civil and international, as family members kill one another, since the whites who still hold hope in the existing system will oppose any attempt by those Whites who seek it's replacement or renewal by violent means. We might have to see the public executions of traitors and criminals, even those whose offenses would normally be considered petty crimes. We might have to see forced recruitment, conscription, and children being raised to be soldiers intent on finding and killing the enemies of their people. We might have to see the eviction and exile of blacks and browns. We might have to see the complete and organized global eradication of the Jewish ethnicity. We might have to see the Bible be completely rewritten in order to better suit the political needs of White people. All this is going to be due to just how much damage has been left to accrue, it's going to take a lot more bloody and brutal means to fix more than a half century of cancer and infection that has been allowed, and even encouraged to grow among our people and their countries. It's one thing to keep someone from coming in, it's another to get rid of the many descendants who now live in your lands, it's one thing to never give handouts to an incompetent race, it's another to pull the plug on these services that they had grown dependent on, it's one thing to prevent corruption from gaining control over your society, it's another to cut it out of it once it's gotten in there and only spread it's tendrils into everything around it. Fortunately, we live in an age of the internet, where the archives and records of how our society had changed over time will stand to make a clear case for why what you did was good and necessary, hopefully, it will also stand as a testament to why certain policies and ideas are dangerous for us to adopt, and why certain kinds of people can never be trusted by our kind, so that you will have the confidence that all you did, will never have to be done again. You get a lot in exchange for sacrificing your opinion of yourself, for the price of betraying what are normally your moral principles to the altar of war, you get so much in return for it, and not just you, but your children, and your children's children, and all of your line, shall benefit greatly. one thing that might help is hate, hate for the entire groups of people you will be fighting, will keep you sane, it will set a double standard, that you and your kind deserves one moral standard, but these other people, who you are fighting, deserves no moral considerations at all. That way, when you return to a society of only the first category of people, you can rest easy know that you were consistent in your moral ideology, and function. but yeah, war will fuck you up, at the very least, your heart will have hardened, you will lose trust for most of the people around you, and you will know what the insides of people really look like, and why video games and movies choose to avoid showing the reality of it.