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When a widower, what's considered best practice, to keep wedding ring on or take it off? Im more of the idea to keep it on and to just state im still married, and if they push or ask to just sorta stretch the truth and act as if she's alive or something. No idea honestly

When a widower, what's considered best practice, to keep wedding ring on or take it off? Im more of the idea to keep it on and to just state im still married, and if they push or ask to just sorta stretch the truth and act as if she's alive or something. No idea honestly

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[–] • 8 pts

Leave it on for some time if thats what makes you feel better. But there has to come some point where leaving it on and just saying i'm married, isn't the right answer anymore. You'll know when that is, and no one else can tell you how long that will take you.

[–] • 2 pts

This is the correct answer. It may be a year or more, but you should eventually take it off. You shouldn't try to hold on to the past forever.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

I would take it off at one year anniversary of death.

And continue dating.

Lucky for men, a man with money can date over one third of all hot looking 25 year olds, even at age 53 according to science papers.

SCIENCE PAPER of "inbox attention measurement" shows :

Men Peak at 50

For Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds:

https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap9815.full.pdf

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-men-women-age.html

OkCupid Says Men Are Most Attracted to 20-Year-Olds:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/40157-okcupid-says-men-are-most-attracted-to-20-year-olds-and-heres-why-it-totally-doesnt-matter

The science paper at https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap9815.full.pdf ignores income, but the higher the income the more of a catch the age 50 man is.

Remember, a 50 year old man gets MORE ATTENTION from all women all ages than any other age male (49, or even 51). Some say its because women over 34 all desperately seek the same tiny pool of men age 50 who are on the dating market.

If you are age 50 and TALL (Whites are tall) , or RICH you can date far more percent of age 25 women.

Whites (blondes) are very tall

Half of all Caucasians from Netherlands are 6 feet 1 inch (1.85 m), or TALLER.

Half of all Caucasians from Denmark is 6 feet (1.83 m).

Those are solid facts from science papers. For above 6'3" (such as 6'3") it eliminates 85% of Caucasians though.

Caucasians in USA 70 years ago were taller than modern Netherlands or Denmark, but most science tables for 2019 are "all races" and include all the very short hispanics, Indians, and Asians that now inhabit USA.

https://www.wisegeek.com/which-country-has-the-tallest-people.htm#didyouknowout

https://elifesciences.org/articles/13410

http://www.randalolson.com/2014/06/23/why-the-dutch-are-so-tall/

Women who state they pref tall men, merely do not want to "appear racist" and are using height 6'+ to filter for white people, or the very small percentage of black basketball players.

15% of Caucasians in USA are 6'3" or taller! And 70 years ago it was far more than that!

A 50 year old man with a house and a job, and tall, according to science studies is in highest demand based on dating site communications studies.

[–] • 2 pts

Idk if you wear necklaces, but you could put it on a chain to wear around your neck. It would signal you're not married but also signal that you still have your wife's memory close to your heart.

[–] • 1 pt

Do what makes you comfortable. Grieving takes time. When and if you're ready for companionship again, you may consider removing it but understand that you do your wife no dishonour by removing the band as your vows have been completed.

[–] • 0 pt

Part of me thinks she would have kept it in if the roles were reversed. She was a very hard catch for me at the time, and very understanding of me. I honestly always thought she was a saint in a way for being able to fix so many of my flaws, and make me so happy. She taught me everything i know about confidence and self esteem. And yet here i am, flaws and all, and back to being alone

[–] • 0 pt

It's especially unfortunate that you are going through this while churches and support groups are shuttered, but I encourage you to seek out the fellowship of others going through what you are. At a minimum, I would look into whether your employer offers counselling via your benefits. Losing a spouse is an especially traumatic event that shouldn't be navigated alone.

[–] • 1 pt

If you have young kids, take it off once you're done grieving and try to find a stepmother for them.

[–] • 1 pt

If you don't want to be bothered by women who are all used up and looking to now "settle down", keep the ring on.

[–] • 1 pt

Looking at the current crop of women out there, the selection is very high, in volume. The selection of good women, who are not fatally flawed is under 1%

[–] • 0 pt

Agreed. I tell my wife quite often not to die because I woukd have to sort through a sewer worth of shit to find anyone worth applying to take her position.

[–] • 1 pt

Based off who my wife is, she's essentially irreplaceable, so many small things i thought were normal and expected, completely gone and devoid in the common woman

[–] • 1 pt

Keep it on. The only time it might be an issue is when you start pursuing women. You aren't ready for that yet. Even then, it's OK to wear it. If one asks your marriage status just tell her the truth. Your wife passed and the ring is an important memory. But no one's going to ask unless you're flirting with one. You might be over thinking it.

[–] • 0 pt

My condolences, brother. Do what feels right, take it off when you are ready.

[–] • 0 pt

You keep it on forever. If someone asks about your wife, tell the truth -- that she's dead.

[–] • 0 pt

Queue the massive awkward silence that usually ensues. There was one woman who wanted to role play my wife in bed, and i noped out of that one pretty fast

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I always kept it on after, personally. There was no divorce.

[–] • 0 pt

When you're ready to remove it because you can't keep up the lie anymore, then instead of packing it away, put it on a gold necklace so you have something of her forever on you. Depends if you loved her and believe she's your soulmate or not, of course.

[–] • 0 pt

Leave it on until you feel comfortable taking it off.

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