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Like, I finish a lot of my projects but the last few years I've failed at a lot of them. If I were to go into it I could defend each one but then also I think I would be really proud or perhaps financially much better off if I had finished some. Others seem stupid in hindsight.

Now I don't know how anyone can call themselves a citizen if fighting covid-19 nonsense is not their current project, perhaps second only to something like raising their kids.

The problem is I'm not equipped for the fight. I'm more of an engineer. I don't know how to influence people. So many times this last year I've taken a step forward and then soon after a step back because in spite of searching I don't see what if anything I am supposed to do about covid mania. I just know that I won't be good with myself unless I try.

So here I am fighting a hurricane with kite. I dream up grand ideas about how to have an impact and then abandon them after a couple days when I realize they won't help anything. I've never felt lost before in life but covid changed that. I now have this vague mission of stopping covid zealots from stealing freedom away from humanity lmao. fuck my life.

I just can't stop dreaming of perpetual motion machines. Machines that can't be built and even if they could I don't have the tools or enough time to read all the books. I wish I was a stupid lefty so that all I had to do to make the world a better place was beat people up in the street and burn down buildings.

Like, I finish a lot of my projects but the last few years I've failed at a lot of them. If I were to go into it I could defend each one but then also I think I would be really proud or perhaps financially much better off if I had finished some. Others seem stupid in hindsight. Now I don't know how anyone can call themselves a citizen if fighting covid-19 nonsense is not their current project, perhaps second only to something like raising their kids. The problem is I'm not equipped for the fight. I'm more of an engineer. I don't know how to influence people. So many times this last year I've taken a step forward and then soon after a step back because in spite of searching I don't see what if anything I am supposed to do about covid mania. I just know that I won't be good with myself unless I try. So here I am fighting a hurricane with kite. I dream up grand ideas about how to have an impact and then abandon them after a couple days when I realize they won't help anything. I've never felt lost before in life but covid changed that. I now have this vague mission of stopping covid zealots from stealing freedom away from humanity lmao. fuck my life. I just can't stop dreaming of perpetual motion machines. Machines that can't be built and even if they could I don't have the tools or enough time to read all the books. I wish I was a stupid lefty so that all I had to do to make the world a better place was beat people up in the street and burn down buildings.

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[–] • 1 pt

Let me take a guess that you don't have a strong religious belief in your life. Without spiritual belief, everything else always feels hollow and meaningless. This is why the Jews were so determined to destroy the faith of white Christians -- and they largely accomplished their goals in this regard, in part because conventional Christianity has failed to support the needs of its believers. Jews struck with their media poison and pornography where Christians were weak, and it did immense damage.

You may be one of the casualties, even if you don't realize it yourself. You probably scorn religion. Many people who think of themselves as intelligent and well-educated do these days. It's not an achievement, it's a step backwards, because a human being needs a spiritual base upon which to build a life. Without it we cannot thrive. Intelligence has nothing to do with this issue. Spirituality is a basic need that religion fulfills in a social context. You feel something is missing from your life? Well, I just told you what it is.