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Quick backstory 1993-1997 I live with a girl who we both made large impacts on each other's lives. It was a tough relationship, lots of drama and she did some very bad things to me. 2000-2005 We're online friends but that dissolves after she thoroughly trashed me. The email was so bad I kept it to read any time I needed a reminder never to contact her again. 2017 - She emails me out of the blue that she has a dream about me. We talk very succinctly, she doesn't type more than a few words. Can barely get a conversation. Find out she hates Trump, don't email her again. Jan 26/21 - I'm thinking about her again so I email her a tv show we used to watch "Remember this?" She responds with just "yep"

Trying to read into her response, no good. I can't tell if she's just being polite but not willing to engage. Perhaps she's married? I leave it for exactly one month later Feb 25, I email her asking how she's doing. Bring up a drunken car accident we had in the 90's. She responds 4 days later.

>I'm doing well. In college and graduating June 26th. How are u doing?

I say,

>Congrats! What did you study? Your kid must be all grown up and out on his own by now too, or close to it. I'm doing alright but it could be better. I've had a contracting business for 10 years and this covid crap is putting a lid on things. I decided to try my luck at panning for gold in the Fraser river near Hope this morning. No luck.

She responds with,

>I've always loved you. Dumb eh?

Ok, that was definitely not expected AT ALL. Brain goes into overdrive. Chessboard thinking. Why would she just say that and not engage in the small talk? My back goes up thinking this is a trap. I recall how clever she was and I don't want to give her too much information. So I just email her back and ask if she feels like chatting for a bit. No response.

Something seems off. Something very peculiar about this. Why would you not engage, at least say what she studied. I only knew she had a kid because that was back around 2003 or so when she told me, could be a lie. She never asked me any questions at all either except for "How are u doing?"

So what gives? There can only be a few logical responses. She's still a psycho. She's hooked up with someone. She also never apologized for that scathing email 15 years ago.

And before you ask why the fuck I'm even trying to engage with her after all the woes she caused me. I don't know. That was a long time ago and I know despite the challenges, we both made lasting imprints on each other. We have a history.

So why would a girl just skip the small talk, skip normal conversation, skip even saying more than a few words, but drop that bomb? What gives?

Quick backstory 1993-1997 I live with a girl who we both made large impacts on each other's lives. It was a tough relationship, lots of drama and she did some very bad things to me. 2000-2005 We're online friends but that dissolves after she thoroughly trashed me. The email was so bad I kept it to read any time I needed a reminder never to contact her again. 2017 - She emails me out of the blue that she has a dream about me. We talk very succinctly, she doesn't type more than a few words. Can barely get a conversation. Find out she hates Trump, don't email her again. Jan 26/21 - I'm thinking about her again so I email her a tv show we used to watch "Remember this?" She responds with just "yep" Trying to read into her response, no good. I can't tell if she's just being polite but not willing to engage. Perhaps she's married? I leave it for exactly one month later Feb 25, I email her asking how she's doing. Bring up a drunken car accident we had in the 90's. She responds 4 days later. >>I'm doing well. In college and graduating June 26th. How are u doing? I say, >>Congrats! What did you study? Your kid must be all grown up and out on his own by now too, or close to it. I'm doing alright but it could be better. I've had a contracting business for 10 years and this covid crap is putting a lid on things. I decided to try my luck at panning for gold in the Fraser river near Hope this morning. No luck. She responds with, >>I've always loved you. Dumb eh? Ok, that was definitely not expected AT ALL. Brain goes into overdrive. Chessboard thinking. Why would she just say that and not engage in the small talk? My back goes up thinking this is a trap. I recall how clever she was and I don't want to give her too much information. So I just email her back and ask if she feels like chatting for a bit. No response. Something seems off. Something very peculiar about this. Why would you not engage, at least say what she studied. I only knew she had a kid because that was back around 2003 or so when she told me, could be a lie. She never asked me any questions at all either except for "How are u doing?" So what gives? There can only be a few logical responses. She's still a psycho. She's hooked up with someone. She also never apologized for that scathing email 15 years ago. And before you ask why the fuck I'm even trying to engage with her after all the woes she caused me. I don't know. That was a long time ago and I know despite the challenges, we both made lasting imprints on each other. We have a history. So why would a girl just skip the small talk, skip normal conversation, skip even saying more than a few words, but drop that bomb? What gives?

(post is archived)

[–] • 16 pts

She’s fucked in the head. Steer clear and be grateful you dodged a bullet.

Start going out casually with lots of women and you will soon forget about her. Trust me. Your oneitis is fucking you up for life. Don’t let it. Go be awesome instead.

[–] • 2 pts

Damn, all the responses are the same. Ya right? That's fucked up isn't it.

[–] • 2 pts

Yes. Go no contact Immediately and forevermore. Step two, go get laid, stat.

[–] • 1 pt

For whatever reason you need closure.

I'm married and even after all the decades I still think about my exes occasionally. That's just it, I think about it

I know what I want

a. To be married

b. Have kids

None of my exes will accomplish those goals and neither will yours. Resist that urge to contact her. Men can't be friends with women, it just doesn't work. You'll never be friends with your ex and any sexual relationship with her will be doomed because she already has a kid and it won't work out long term.

Think it through. Don't feel it through and think of your youth. Move on

[–] • 4 pts

Stay away. Move on

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts

Whatever her and her inner demons call "love," you don't want it. Steer clear of that reef.

[–] • 3 pts

She's feeling nostalgia and wanting an ego rub. Don't give it to her.

[–] • 3 pts

Be thankful she is far away.

[–] • 1 pt

OP sounds like he can't resist pursuing something. I hope he can recognize this and move on.

[–] • 3 pts

That you ever responded to her at all after 2005 demonstrates a lack of respect for yourself, and a lack of good things in your life. It’s shameful, and you should behave like a man. Fully eject the thot from your thoughts and life. What she said doesn’t matter.

[–] • 2 pts

>"The email was so bad I kept it to read any time I needed a reminder never to contact her again."

>"I'm thinking about her again so I email her a tv show we used to watch"

Did you not read that fucking email before you tried to contact her again?

[–] • 0 pt

Yes and I didn't until she contacted me 13 years later and we talked briefly.

[–] • 0 pt

"2017 - She emails me out of the blue that she has a dream about me. We talk very succinctly, she doesn't type more than a few words. Can barely get a conversation. Find out she hates Trump, don't email her again. Jan 26/21 - I'm thinking about her again so I email her a tv show we used to watch "Remember this?" She responds with just "yep""

She contacts you in 2017 and you talk briefly. But then almost four years go by, and you decide to contact her again of your own volition. Seems you forgot about the email.

Stop validating this bitch's psychosis. Who gives a fuck what your "history" is together, or what kind of "impact" you had on each other. She's fucking insane, and the more you engage with her, the more it feeds her ego.

You're unintentionally teaching her that actions have no lasting consequences. Cut ties. Do not reconnect. Ever.

[–] • 2 pts

I've always loved you. Dumb eh?

You may be dating Machiavelli, or maybe SunTzu

Lets dissect that

  1. I've always loved you:

Reeling you in. Totally flattering. Like you were the ‘one’, the one that got away. Would not be crazy to infer that. She’s carrying some fucking torch around for 25 years, but then...

2.Dumb, eh

Which could be interpreted as “Loving you is stupid, you aren’t worthy of my love, you were a mistake”

Or maybe alternatively, “ Im such a dope, loving you unrequited for all these years, what a fool for love I am”

Depending on the mood she’s in, it could be both. Fucking sneaky as shit. Or maybe not.

I had this ex that used to call me up and try to stir the pot. Usually because he was lonely and /or needed something. He was a psycho. A psycho I still have generally fond feelings for. But I know he is a incurable psycho so it was never gonna work and I just had to remind myself of that over and over.

But your gf is probably not a violent felon so she may have some more redeeming qualities. Maybe she’s only a little psycho. Maybe you are a little psycho too and she is reasonably the best you can hope for. I dont know you.

If you decide you want to continue after weighing the pros ans cons, her potential psychoness, just send another message asking about her school work. Dont even mention the bombshell.

If she really loves you, she’ll repeat and clarify her feelings. If she is just testing the waters and is not particularly serious, you do not want to feed that bombshell with attention.

[–] • 1 pt

Awesome post lol. Some good advice there. I threw her a test email by simply asking if she wants to talk. So in essence, I'm calling her out.

[–] • 2 pts

Drunk email and doesn't really gives a shit about you? Drunk and bored maybe.

[–] • 1 pt

Look up DARE NEVER DEER.

It's the basics of being an alpha male. To a woman they are subordinate, you do not explain or rationalize things to them. You don't argue. You just deflect or make a joke if they attack you or shit test you.

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