I always felt like I was fighting an external thing entity whatever.
I finally realized that what ever it was would never let me kill myself. It would beat me down and then leave me alone until I felt better and start beating me down again.
Almost like it fed off my misery. It was never going to let me go.
That broke the spell. I had to do a few more things but I have been free of suicidal ideation for 6 or so years now.
If you want more details, you can PM me. I can only tell you how I broke free, but know this - it doesn't want you to die and will never let you die, it only wants you miserable.
I always felt like I was fighting an external thing entity whatever.
I finally realized that what ever it was would never let me kill myself. It would beat me down and then leave me alone until I felt better and start beating me down again.
Almost like it fed off my misery. It was never going to let me go.
That broke the spell. I had to do a few more things but I have been free of suicidal ideation for 6 or so years now.
If you want more details, you can PM me. I can only tell you how I broke free, but know this - it doesn't want you to die and will never let you die, it only wants you miserable.
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