Stay married; your kids will resent you if you do not.

Don’t ever hit someone first, but if they hit you hit them until they don’t get up.

Here's another:

Politicians, with extremely rare exceptions, are only in it for themselves.

Never assume a promise will be delivered.

Better to assume that it will not be, and play your game accordingly.

This especially applies to promises from those you trust the most.

No matter what illness you have a glass of water will help.

You are the sole person who must deal with all the consequences of your actions

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

Jews control the world's flow of information.

My dad's two rules:

1. Never force anything.

2. Relax and win.