Time to do some tests:

• Does the dick cup teleport? Lock the cup in a closet and throw away the key

• If it does not teleport and indeed shatters the door as it flies through, you'll need to test overall strength. I'd recommend placing the dick cup in a 10 gallon bin of wet concrete, waiting for it to dry, and then taking a nap

• Fall asleep with your dick in your wife's pussy. What happens? (Might be dangerous, don't want the cup to hurt her)

Michigan health secretary. You look that thing up and your dick won’t come out again.

Sleep cup dicking? My suggestion is, don’t have any hot liquid in cups when you lie down.

I hate when that happens.

You need to just turn yourself in for the cup rape.

Don't make them shoot you

Have you got a carbon monoxide detector? If not, buy one. There was a post on Plebbit a few years ago where a guy was worried about his landlord leaving post-its around his house/appt, and it turned out he was in the early stages of CO poisoning and writing the notes himself.

Its ok. This is a common indicator that you are actually a cupfucker. Theres nothing wrong with it, but you should learn about your cupfucker culture and start using the pronouns cupfucker/cupfucker. And start taking hormones.