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I’ve been bit of a codependent slut much of my life for the usual reasons. Falling for crazy and hot and young because that’s what was around and I basically wanted attention. I was also a jackass and a man child. I own it. I woke up to God, who I speak to on a daily basis, a few years ago. It’s a new life and I’m trying to recalibrate. I’ve met someone sensible and lovely and reasonable and funny. It’s a better life I’m leading. I want to live this way, not the way I was living where I dealt with women like they were heroin. Only thing is, I’m used to a different intensity of emotion and it eats at me that I’m not all smitten all the time. I’m way to old for that shit, though. Any words of advice from those old goats with good relationships?
I just explained to her that the Biden administration is filled with dual citizens and she took it in stride. I can’t fuck this up.

I’ve been bit of a codependent slut much of my life for the usual reasons. Falling for crazy and hot and young because that’s what was around and I basically wanted attention. I was also a jackass and a man child. I own it. I woke up to God, who I speak to on a daily basis, a few years ago. It’s a new life and I’m trying to recalibrate. I’ve met someone sensible and lovely and reasonable and funny. It’s a better life I’m leading. I want to live this way, not the way I was living where I dealt with women like they were heroin. Only thing is, I’m used to a different intensity of emotion and it eats at me that I’m not all smitten all the time. I’m way to old for that shit, though. Any words of advice from those old goats with good relationships? I just explained to her that the Biden administration is filled with dual citizens and she took it in stride. I can’t fuck this up.

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[–] • 3 pts

I guess that depends on whether you're Roman or not.

[–] • 2 pts (edited )

it’s like asking how to stop being a pampered retard.

you have to become the person that pampers retards now. cherish your memories and help others create their own, you selfish idiot. that’s it. have babies and die for them every waking moment. don’t complain or hold it over anyone .

[–] • 0 pt

Goddamn. This is gold. Yoda, you are. Thanks.

[–] • 0 pt

Gotta say , preddy good summation

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt (edited )

OK, now I can give a better answer.

I have been married 26 years with 5 kids. Not the best marriage, but not the worst I have seen.

SO, my kids give me great happiness. Over all it was worth it. Caveats below.

Women only take from you - some take more, some take less. If she isn't taking more than she gives you, then she is moving on to someone she can take from. That is the key thing to remember. There isn't any we're in this together, no, it's you and maybe she shows up to help on occasion.

I can't say that I am happy, but I can't say that I'd be better off without my family. It is a net positive, but the burden is real.

So if you want to be a father and you don't want to screw this up here is some starting advice.

1) Don't have sex, or at least abstain for 3 months. If your relationship can't survive abstinence then you aren't ready for marriage.

2) You were a self admitted man whore. No judgement, but that means you have a lot issues around intimacy. Get some counseling. A lot of counseling. Don't make any decisions until you have been through counseling for a year.

3) Pray. Pray some more. This is the rest of your life, it is worth doing right.

4) I personally have found great benefit by going to confession and then going to therapy. Therapy would dig up things I needed to confess, and confession would dig up questions I took to my counselor. Rinse and repeat.

5) the conclusion of the matter: I has been a net benefit, I just wish that our marriage didn't have to be so rocky. Over all I am glad that Indid it, but there is no way in Hell I would ever get married to someone else. These aren't the keys to a perfect marriage, but, follow them and you will have a better start than I did.

Edit. My wife and I didn't have sex for the first 4 months when we were dating. We do have a lot in common and have fun together. We just don't work well together in everything (somedays a lot of things)

Also: good luck. I would hate to be dating now. I will say a prayer for you.

[–] • 1 pt

Tuck your penis between your legs and write greeting cards and watch romantic comedies with her.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Look inside yourself, you likely already know the answers you are looking for.

[–] • 0 pt

I married a crazy slut. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I hope yours does not have a kid.

[–] • 0 pt

"Romantic Love" is natures way of keeping a couple together long enough to reproduce - and that's about it. Physical repulsion is a relationship problem, whereas not "feeling in love" is daydreaming like a silly teenager.

Men are lifelong children in that they never stop craving for the emotional lift that came with Mommie's love for them. Think about that for a minute or two. A mother's love comes from security, commitment and responsibility - it's lifelong and pushes you forward towards life. Provide an environment that will allow your wife to provide that for your children -- don't be a petulant, whiny teenager that she has to worry is out looking for that temporary hormonal fix if she's not playing a romantic lead role at all times.

You are literally complaining about not having a temporary hormonal state as part of a long term partnership. If you can't deal with not feeling "in lust at all times", how are you going to deal with the real rough spots and hard times that occur in all lifetime relationships?

[–] • 0 pt

Read this a second and third time because the first time hurt my fee fees. Makes tremendous sense what you said about a mother’s love and how we seek it out in life. My sibling and I have both sought out and fallen for manipulative junkies habitually. Anything else doesn’t feel like love. It must be wonderful to have a healthy human being seem sexy. I’m just trying to bridge the gap between what I seek and what I need. More importantly, what my children will need. I’m gonna think on this more

[–] • 0 pt

Sounds like an excellent plan. I wish you the best of luck and patience. Also one more piece of advice - and the most important: make certain the person you end up with wants the same type of long term future (children, lifestyle, locales) as you. If that puzzle piece matches up, most everything else can be worked though.

[–] • 0 pt

deep compatibility and shared laughter is most important, by far.

[–] • 0 pt

Its not that hard. Make passion. Generate attraction.

[–] • 0 pt

Love yourself and God and everything else will fall into place.

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