I guess that depends on whether you're Roman or not.
I guess that depends on whether you're Roman or not.
it’s like asking how to stop being a pampered retard.
you have to become the person that pampers retards now. cherish your memories and help others create their own, you selfish idiot. that’s it. have babies and die for them every waking moment. don’t complain or hold it over anyone .
it’s like asking how to stop being a pampered retard.
you have to become the person that pampers retards now. cherish your memories and help others create their own, you selfish idiot. that’s it. have babies and die for them every waking moment. don’t complain or hold it over anyone .
We are made for God.
We are made for God.
Look inside yourself, you likely already know the answers you are looking for.
Look inside yourself, you likely already know the answers you are looking for.
OK, now I can give a better answer.
I have been married 26 years with 5 kids. Not the best marriage, but not the worst I have seen.
SO, my kids give me great happiness. Over all it was worth it. Caveats below.
Women only take from you - some take more, some take less. If she isn't taking more than she gives you, then she is moving on to someone she can take from. That is the key thing to remember. There isn't any we're in this together, no, it's you and maybe she shows up to help on occasion.
I can't say that I am happy, but I can't say that I'd be better off without my family. It is a net positive, but the burden is real.
So if you want to be a father and you don't want to screw this up here is some starting advice.
1) Don't have sex, or at least abstain for 3 months. If your relationship can't survive abstinence then you aren't ready for marriage.
2) You were a self admitted man whore. No judgement, but that means you have a lot issues around intimacy. Get some counseling. A lot of counseling. Don't make any decisions until you have been through counseling for a year.
3) Pray. Pray some more. This is the rest of your life, it is worth doing right.
4) I personally have found great benefit by going to confession and then going to therapy. Therapy would dig up things I needed to confess, and confession would dig up questions I took to my counselor. Rinse and repeat.
5) the conclusion of the matter: I has been a net benefit, I just wish that our marriage didn't have to be so rocky. Over all I am glad that Indid it, but there is no way in Hell I would ever get married to someone else. These aren't the keys to a perfect marriage, but, follow them and you will have a better start than I did.
Edit. My wife and I didn't have sex for the first 4 months when we were dating. We do have a lot in common and have fun together. We just don't work well together in everything (somedays a lot of things)
Also: good luck. I would hate to be dating now. I will say a prayer for you.
OK, now I can give a better answer.
I have been married 26 years with 5 kids. Not the best marriage, but not the worst I have seen.
SO, my kids give me great happiness. Over all it was worth it. Caveats below.
Women only take from you - some take more, some take less. If she isn't taking more than she gives you, then she is moving on to someone she can take from. That is the key thing to remember. There isn't any we're in this together, no, it's you and maybe she shows up to help on occasion.
I can't say that I am happy, but I can't say that I'd be better off without my family. It is a net positive, but the burden is real.
So if you want to be a father and you don't want to screw this up here is some starting advice.
1) Don't have sex, or at least abstain for 3 months. If your relationship can't survive abstinence then you aren't ready for marriage.
2) You were a self admitted man whore. No judgement, but that means you have a lot issues around intimacy. Get some counseling. A lot of counseling. Don't make any decisions until you have been through counseling for a year.
3) Pray. Pray some more. This is the rest of your life, it is worth doing right.
4) I personally have found great benefit by going to confession and then going to therapy. Therapy would dig up things I needed to confess, and confession would dig up questions I took to my counselor. Rinse and repeat.
5) the conclusion of the matter: I has been a net benefit, I just wish that our marriage didn't have to be so rocky. Over all I am glad that Indid it, but there is no way in Hell I would ever get married to someone else. These aren't the keys to a perfect marriage, but, follow them and you will have a better start than I did.
Edit. My wife and I didn't have sex for the first 4 months when we were dating. We do have a lot in common and have fun together. We just don't work well together in everything (somedays a lot of things)
Also: good luck. I would hate to be dating now. I will say a prayer for you.
Tuck your penis between your legs and write greeting cards and watch romantic comedies with her.
Tuck your penis between your legs and write greeting cards and watch romantic comedies with her.
I married a crazy slut. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I hope yours does not have a kid.
I married a crazy slut. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I hope yours does not have a kid.
Love yourself and God and everything else will fall into place.
Love yourself and God and everything else will fall into place.
Its not that hard. Make passion. Generate attraction.
Its not that hard. Make passion. Generate attraction.
Look up limerence.
It is the emotional reaction to "love" or attention, and that "puppy love" type period. Everyone gets it. It wears off.
Limerence keeps you from making logical, rational decisions for a time, and when it wears off you start to notice more.
The less time you spend in limerence and truly discuss where the relationship is going, the faster the "yes/no" decisions appear.
Look up limerence.
It is the emotional reaction to "love" or attention, and that "puppy love" type period. Everyone gets it. It wears off.
Limerence keeps you from making logical, rational decisions for a time, and when it wears off you start to notice more.
The less time you spend in limerence and truly discuss where the relationship is going, the faster the "yes/no" decisions appear.
Thanks. I will.
Thanks. I will.
Finally looked into this.
Thank you for introducing me to this concept. Really. What an eye opener.
Finally looked into this.
Thank you for introducing me to this concept. Really. What an eye opener.
No problem.
It really should be taught more when trying to find someone to marry. Getting married in the "puppy love" phase tends to results in more problems in the future.
In the past, with arranged marriages, there really wasn't a limerence phase, and discussions were much more rational and reached a pretty solid conclusion - resulting in marriages that tended to be for life.
If more young people were aware of limerence, the discussions could try to account for that, leading to easier decisions.
No problem.
It really should be taught more when trying to find someone to marry. Getting married in the "puppy love" phase tends to results in more problems in the future.
In the past, with arranged marriages, there really wasn't a limerence phase, and discussions were much more rational and reached a pretty solid conclusion - resulting in marriages that tended to be for life.
If more young people were aware of limerence, the discussions could try to account for that, leading to easier decisions.
"Romantic Love" is natures way of keeping a couple together long enough to reproduce - and that's about it. Physical repulsion is a relationship problem, whereas not "feeling in love" is daydreaming like a silly teenager.
Men are lifelong children in that they never stop craving for the emotional lift that came with Mommie's love for them. Think about that for a minute or two. A mother's love comes from security, commitment and responsibility - it's lifelong and pushes you forward towards life. Provide an environment that will allow your wife to provide that for your children -- don't be a petulant, whiny teenager that she has to worry is out looking for that temporary hormonal fix if she's not playing a romantic lead role at all times.
You are literally complaining about not having a temporary hormonal state as part of a long term partnership. If you can't deal with not feeling "in lust at all times", how are you going to deal with the real rough spots and hard times that occur in all lifetime relationships?
"Romantic Love" is natures way of keeping a couple together long enough to reproduce - and that's about it. Physical repulsion is a relationship problem, whereas not "feeling in love" is daydreaming like a silly teenager.
Men are lifelong children in that they never stop craving for the emotional lift that came with Mommie's love for them. Think about that for a minute or two. A mother's love comes from security, commitment and responsibility - it's lifelong and pushes you forward towards life. Provide an environment that will allow your wife to provide that for your children -- don't be a petulant, whiny teenager that she has to worry is out looking for that temporary hormonal fix if she's not playing a romantic lead role at all times.
You are literally complaining about not having a temporary hormonal state as part of a long term partnership. If you can't deal with not feeling "in lust at all times", how are you going to deal with the real rough spots and hard times that occur in all lifetime relationships?
Read this a second and third time because the first time hurt my fee fees. Makes tremendous sense what you said about a mother’s love and how we seek it out in life. My sibling and I have both sought out and fallen for manipulative junkies habitually. Anything else doesn’t feel like love. It must be wonderful to have a healthy human being seem sexy. I’m just trying to bridge the gap between what I seek and what I need. More importantly, what my children will need. I’m gonna think on this more
Read this a second and third time because the first time hurt my fee fees. Makes tremendous sense what you said about a mother’s love and how we seek it out in life. My sibling and I have both sought out and fallen for manipulative junkies habitually. Anything else doesn’t feel like love. It must be wonderful to have a healthy human being seem sexy. I’m just trying to bridge the gap between what I seek and what I need. More importantly, what my children will need. I’m gonna think on this more
Sounds like an excellent plan. I wish you the best of luck and patience. Also one more piece of advice - and the most important: make certain the person you end up with wants the same type of long term future (children, lifestyle, locales) as you. If that puzzle piece matches up, most everything else can be worked though.
Sounds like an excellent plan. I wish you the best of luck and patience. Also one more piece of advice - and the most important: make certain the person you end up with wants the same type of long term future (children, lifestyle, locales) as you. If that puzzle piece matches up, most everything else can be worked though.
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