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[–] [deleted] • 5 pts

TAINT BOIL

[–] • 0 pt

Gotta clean that out like a snake bite.

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

I used a clit pump... It didn't do much except bleed like one of those vacuum tubes they use when taking blood via butterfly needle. Still there, dunno what to do.

[–] • 0 pt

I meant you gotta get someone to suck the taint out of it. Mouth to taint resuscitation.

[–] • 5 pts

Watching Fox news refer to Slow Joe as president elect.

[–] • 5 pts

Shattered my face in a head-on collision about 20 years ago

[–] • 0 pt

Did it make you any better looking?

[–] • 0 pt

That would take a true miracle. They did a great job on my face. My right side droops a little because I cut my eyelid off. So they to make one. Other than that you can hardly tell. The scares blend in with my wrinkles

[–] • 0 pt

I’m glad you were taken care of brother. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[–] • 4 pts

Car T-boned me on my motorcycle. I was going 45 mph, doing nothing wrong, passing through an intersection, and this spic was coming towards me, but turning left. Turned into me as I was riding past. All I know is I flew like 40 feet or so and broke 17 bones including both femurs and foot bones and collar bone and stuff. That was a terrible year after that. Now, I don't even walk with a limp. Cute physical therapy women are awesome.

[–] • 2 pts

doing nothing wrong,

you...DINDU NUFFIN???

[–] • 1 pt

I got so lucky. Had a dude make a sudden right turn from the left lane into me on a bike going about 40. Somehow I broke nothing and just skinned the shit out of my arms. Landed face-first too. I hated my full-face helmet until that day. Fuckin' asshole was driving on a suspended license for failure to appear on a DUI too.

[–] • 0 pt

Do you still ride?

[–] • 0 pt

Yeah. DR-Z 400S

[–] • 4 pts

Kidney stones. The best moment of my life was when I felt it finally dislodge. The worst was the next moment as I felt it slide out.

[–] • 0 pt

Had one as a kid, it was like pissing a shard of glass.

[–] • 4 pts

Broke my leg when I was 12 at a skating party. Friendns parents brought me home. My Dad was drunk, and didn't believe my leg was broken. By the time we got to the hospital the next day, my leg was too swollen to cast. 1 week with a broken leg with no cast hurts like a big motherfucker. A couple of nights during that week of no cast, I weeped because of the pain.

[–] • 3 pts

I hope your old man got you the best fucking christmas present of all time after that

[–] • 1 pt

Probably. Grew up as white trash, so christmas was the one good gift out of the year.

[–] • 0 pt

Ha ha ha I broke my leg as a kid and my sister and mom didn't believe me. It was when my sister and I were sledding. First my sister left me in the woods stranded for an hour thinking I was faking it. Then my mom made me wait until she finished her movie before she took me to the hospital. Turned out to be a spiral break which is the most severe leg break you can have. Cunts.

[–] • 0 pt

Jesus. Like, what fucking kid lies about breaking their leg? Our parents were fucked.

[–] [deleted] • 3 pts (edited )

Was it breaking three bones in my foot and fucking up the cartridge in my knee?

Working a 110° Miami warehouse in the only pair of clean boxers in the drawer- fucking wool, and deciding against commando? Coming home with my junk scraped raw with embedded wool? Was it that hot shower trying to clean it up? Was it the Icy Hot I mistakenly grabbed in lieu of the numbing cream on my countertop and longingly applying in that blinding haze of steam and pain?

Was it a Carolina Devil scorpion sting to the sack on Ol' Lefty several years later?

Testicular torsion?

Being swarmed by ground-nesting yellowjackets every goddamn summer when I'd mow the lawn?

The sword through my calf?

My foot getting run over by a truck?

Having a pill burn a hole in my esophogus?

Having acid reflux flow up to said hole and have my throat spasm shut?

Velvet Ant sting?

Chipping a tooth in half after jumping out of a tree onto trampoline?

My botched wisdom teeth removal, dry socket, and nerve damage that triggered trigeminal neuralgia (that one's forever, and it fucking suuuucks)?

None of those; it was heartbreak.

[–] • 2 pts

None of those; it was heartbreak.

this

[–] • 1 pt
[–] • 1 pt

I was going to complain about a kidney stone but now I consider myself blessed.

[–] • 2 pts

No, you're right, the kidney stone is the worst. Had my first one two months back or so and I could not function.

[–] • 0 pt

Wisdom teeth removal is such a scam

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

In my case, it was necessary. They were pushing the molars out the side of my gums and trying to shift other teeth that had bonded retainers behind them. The complication was the right jaw widsom tooth; it had a major nerve wrapped up around the root, and its removal gave me a notorious neurological condition. Seriously, TGN fucking sucks.

[–] • 0 pt

That... sounds like it really sucks. Sorry man

[–] • 0 pt

You need to chill out brother. You’re about out of luck.

[–] • 0 pt

Sounds like you fucked ip a lot

[–] [deleted] • 0 pt

You better believe it! Graduated valedictorian from the School of Hard Knocks, with Lady Luck as headmistress. Bitch has had a nose job and attitude adjustment since then, but I still don't trust her.

I think I've done fairly well, overall.

[–] • 2 pts

MaroonSaint 'surprise-sex'd me in a pup tent last winter

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

BS he is gentle as the rain, and sweet as a cherry pie

[–] • 1 pt

And wild as Friday night...

in a Berlin gay bar bathroom

[–] • 2 pts

Heart attack and following bypass surgery sucked rather hard.

[–] [deleted] • 1 pt

Broke off front tooth

[–] • 0 pt

I did that too. Broke it off almost at the base. This was over 10 years ago. I'm amazed because the fake one they formed onto the stump looks just as good as the original and all these years later it's still looking great and holding strong.. a person would have to closely inspect to tell it was repaired.

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