Might throw it at my car loan, might throw it in savings, might buy a weapon, might pay taxes and might buy random shit like dumbbells and a bench.

I have lots of options and I'm going to try to do the rational thing with it. I have to get the money first, so can't really make any decisions about what to do with the money other than I have a list of things I want to do with it.

6000 packs of Ramen, and one roll of TP.

Should I get 1000 $1 hookers... or 1 $1000 hooker?

invest it.

Only poorfags get any, so they'll surely shine up their cardboard boxes under the bridge or something. I technically still have a job and still make enough to support a family on, so of course I don't qualify.