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[–] 1 pt

I go for free hats from hardware stores ala homedepot, lowes, etc

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Oh fuck that. I'll be damned before I'll be some shit store's free billboard.

[–] 1 pt

Free is free

[–] 1 pt

While that's fair enough, those hats are "free" in the same sense that Google services are Free.
If you're not paying anything, you are the product.