I know that's not how I got herpes; though I just recently discovered while looking for information on treatments and potential cures that anal herpes is a thing. I think anal herpes sounds like the least annoying form; and on that note, ocular herpes sounds like the absolute worse form.

I would find a cybernetics research and development organization and volunteer to become a brain in a jar for direct neural interface experiments; worse case scenario I would die for science and best case scenario I become a cyborg and essentially cured of herpes.