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ive been my moms primary caretaker for years, not getting paid for it, but living with her for the past six years, sunday she died in the hospital (she went in for a uti and they kept her there for heart failure, which she had 2 heart attacks so not unexpected) but since she didnt leave a will or anything. how do i keep our childhood home? just take up paying the bills? or....what. ive been talking to her friend and know moms wishes but she never wrote any of them down or got them notorized. she wanted me to keep the house and all her posessions (because my sisters when she was alive was always absent in our lives until they needed a hand out) any advice?

thanks for the replies.

i tried to comment on all of you but it keeps giving me a timer to wait and it keeps getting longer and longer. i usually just lurk on poal and nobody i know irl knew what to do. so thank you all for the advice, and the kind words.

ive been my moms primary caretaker for years, not getting paid for it, but living with her for the past six years, sunday she died in the hospital (she went in for a uti and they kept her there for heart failure, which she had 2 heart attacks so not unexpected) but since she didnt leave a will or anything. how do i keep our childhood home? just take up paying the bills? or....what. ive been talking to her friend and know moms wishes but she never wrote any of them down or got them notorized. she wanted me to keep the house and all her posessions (because my sisters when she was alive was always absent in our lives until they needed a hand out) any advice? thanks for the replies. i tried to comment on all of you but it keeps giving me a timer to wait and it keeps getting longer and longer. i usually just lurk on poal and nobody i know irl knew what to do. so thank you all for the advice, and the kind words.

(post is archived)

[–] • 16 pts

You are probably fucked. Your sisters have a right to receive a portion of your mother's estate, probably a portion equal to yours since you took care of your mother voluntarily. If they contest your inheritance, prepare to see your mother's estate divided into as many parts as she had children. If your sisters are not ghouls and are reasonable, they will want you to have a slightly larger share because you took care of her. They may even want you to get the house. But that's only if they are decent and reasonable human beings. Most people turn into monsters when the prospect of inheriting money comes into view. Maybe your sisters will be different.

[–] • 0 pt

one sister is fine and says i should get everything. the other literally just wants to give me the house. everything else i have no clue whats going on in her head i do know shes psycho about money because shes getting her wages garneshed so much she works 45 hours a week and only brings home 200 bucks (she mentioned it to mom in the hospital and to me when we were leaving from that last visit). money wise we....dont have alot. (we had 1900 in savings which is news to me that last week when mom couldnt even see her phone anymore. i coulda swore we still had my money from before i quit my job to care for her)

[–] • 1 pt (edited )

Honestly, and this is going to sound like an internet asshole spouting off (which normally would be about right) but if you haven't been employed for years...you might want to push this through escro a.s.a.p. (find a lawyer who specializes in it.) typically this takes around 8-12 months (and with the COHHH VIDZ it might be longer) .

Know if the house has any liens against it. Also you need to get the water/sewage/trash paid ..as you can't sell a house until its got a zero balance.

I have no idea what you're doing for funding (hopefully the house had income coming into the home other than her social security checks) but you're going to need it. April is over (hopefully you got 1/2 the property taxes in) but October will be on you before you know it and those property taxes are insane and getting worse.

In short, if you don't have anything, no job , no money...then get a lawyer a.s.a.p and get the house in your name. Sell it a.s.a.p. and use your friends and relatives until you can get some solid financial footing.

Sorry for your loss. There's nothing worse than losing your mother....nothing I've found comes close (my (only) wife isn't leaving before me , but I imagine that's equal if not worse) Good luck.

[–] • 1 pt

Can't get a lawyer if u habs no money

[–] • 8 pts

Sorry for your your loss. Hire a lawyer that deals in estates

[–] • 0 pt

nods okay il look some up hopefully they'll be reasonably priced :/

[–] • 4 pts (edited )

Had a friend go through this. He called the bank the house was financed through and continued payments as normal, and worked with them. Because he had "squatters rights" and rights to the estate, being one of the next of kin, the property couldn't be sold and he couldn't be evicted as long as payments were made. Work with the bank, and hire an estate lawyer if you can afford it. Tell your siblings to take anything they want for memorabilia, keep it civil. You were there and took care of her. You have the fondest memories that your siblings don't have. Keep that as your inheritance, and live in your home as normal. I'm sorry for your loss

[–] • 2 pts

It will go through probate court and you'll all receive 1/3 of her total estate (house/car/bank account/investments/etc). If your sisters are nice, they may be willing to give up part of their share in light of your care for your mother or may be amenable to greater shares of the cash in exchange for letting you keep all of the house. If they aren't nice, you'll be forced to liquidate all the assets and split the cash three ways.

If you're concerned they may be...not nice...decide how much that is worth to you now rather than in the heat of the moment. If your sisters are hellspawned harpies, you may be willing to blow up the family in an estate fight. Or you may prefer to maintain your relationship with them over receiving a dime, or somewhere in the middle.

LPT: Write a will. Put a POD on your bank account. Explicitly declare beneficiaries on your accounts. Leave a way to get access to your phone and passwords if you die (even if that's a safe deposit box where you have to show up with a death certificate). Dont do what OP's mom did and leave everything in probate limbo for +6 months and thousands of dollars in court costs.

[–] • 2 pts

may she walk in peace with jesus to god

tech you should be considered benifactor and head of household and her son. get a lawyer to answer questions at worse you have to buy them out @ what ever the judge sets the amount at. could be 1/3 house value to each siblings or they get 10k a piece. best hope get death cert go down change title to you now you own it fuck the sisters

[–] • 2 pts

Hire an estate lawyer and fast. Any chance undesirables with your last name might come out of the wood work? Assume the worst and work do defeat it. Have a plan B, even if it scorched earth to make sure others can't have it if you need to go that route.

[–] • 1 pt

If you volunteered your time and never discussed what you expect in return with your siblings or mother then it isn't really fair that you now expect a larger inheritance. I agree that it is fair that you be compensated but that is something everyone who has a right to that inheritance needs to agree to. Perhaps if you had a family meeting about what you are doing and what you expect to get the other family members would decide they rather donate thier own time to have a larger inheritance too.

[–] • 0 pt (edited )

i lived in moms house anyway, i figured since i had to take care of her while she was here i could have the house and keep my stuff. i dont want to bogard my sisters of anything except the house. they both have residences this is/was mine. if they want the jeep go ahead. if they want her jewelry. okay i guess. thiers not much of worth in the house to begin with we were always poor as fuck.

[–] • 0 pt

Yeah, you "just" want the most valuable thing your mom owned. How modest. You are so kind to leave your siblings the scraps. Perhaps you will even let them live there rent free the way you have been doing. Well, no no, that would be too much. Besides, you need the space for your mental gymnastics to convince yourself you are the victim for having to even split the inheritance.

[–] • 1 pt

Sorry for your loss. It's too bad your sisters are like that. Like others have said you need an attorney.

[–] • 0 pt

I hope she had life insurance to pay for her debt and taxes for the value of her stuff.

[–] • 0 pt

Just parroting what's been said: without a will and with cunt sisters, you're pretty fucked. Get an estate attorney NOW to see what your options are. They do vary state by state, so it's important to try and get ahead of this ASAP. Take any and all documents you have (including the Shellpoint letter) so they can look through it all. Plan on this being expensive because it will be, but if you want any chance of keeping the house or any valuables, this is your only option.

Even with a will, cunt relatives can protest and drag things out in the legal system. And with a will and no family in the way, things can still take months to years to get sorted out. Wills aren't what they used to be, and trusts are becoming the better way to go.

Best of luck. It's going to be a shit show.

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