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My world is crumbling

I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

I got engaged to my fianceé in April. Shortly after, we found out she was pregnant. This has been a source of great joy for me and both of our families. It was to her also. Our lives have become centered around the baby, who is due March 2nd. Tomorrow we are moving out of our individual one bedroom apartments to move into a large two bedroom house. She is not going to work anymore after this and I’ve worked my ass off, having only four days off in four months to try and save more money in preparation. We never had any problems before, we were happy and excited for the future. That is all changing very rapidly. She has started insulting me, all the time. I’m working actual 80 hour weeks and doing my best to give her everything, and I’m mocked for being tired. She has become so cruel towards me. I smile and tell her she needs to take it easy. She says things so degrading and demeaning I’d hit her if she wasn’t pregnant and this has become the norm. I keep justifying it by telling myself she is pregnant and hormonal, but I can’t help but feel that this is something else entirely. Now the night before we are moving she’s telling me she wants no life with me, that she’s leaving as soon as her dad finds her a new place to move, calling me pathetic, how the child will never know me. That’s only a snapshot. She will say the worst things she can conjure up . Mind you I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. I started myown carpentry business this year after working for someone else for fifteen years. I’m providing for her every way I can. I’m renting out a distillery and throwing her a baby shower, hired a planner and having it catered for all her friends and family. I may be biased but any one else would be very happy right now and yet I am getting nothing but vitriol. It’s all being stolen from me. Even if she stays out of necessity I can’t live like this. Everything seems bleak and my options all seem drastic. I can’t think clear enough about this from within this nightmare. I don’t have any friends around here. What are your thoughts

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[–] • 7 pts

@Morbo is partially correct that this is a shit test. Your kid will do similar boundary tests to you as well. Look at it as a parenting test and a way to improve your disciplining skills. You and your wife are not the same. You have different needs. Try to be as stoic as possible. A simple "It's not appropriate for you to talk to me this way" in a clear but not yelling serious tone. Then just stare at her. Do your best to put on the expression that means what comes next is violence. You'll need to do the same thing with your kids as well. Never verbally threaten violence. What they imagine you'll do will be worse than what you can describe. Just learn to give them a look. I can get my kids to behave just from aggressively standing up and staring at them while being on the opposite side of a soccer field.

Watch out for the shit tests turning into sleep deprivation. You're already working a lot of hours. Bring a portable alarm of some sort (could just be a cell phone) and learn to sleep and hour or two in your car or whatever if she gets on you when you need to sleep.

There's a good chance this behavior is coming from somewhere. Figure out what shows she's watching and websites she's visiting. She also might have a friend who's sabotaging your relationship. Kill two birds with one stone by asking her if she's read any good parenting sites lately. Use it both as an excuse for conversation and a way to dig.

[–] • 3 pts

Also solid advice. Im proud of you people, good advice here.

[–] • 2 pts

Your kid will do similar boundary tests to you as well.

This is true and unfortunately if you don't actually get violent with them, they'll get violent with you. Throw shit hard shit at your face full force, go after your eyes and think it's funny. And like another poster said, they oddly actually like if are violent with them. Disturbing, because it implies people actually LIKE and possibly NEED being violently put in their place of sorts.

I guess it's a way of making sure they start getting negative feedback, because people need to know when they're both doing things wrong and doing things right in order to improve?